Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Intelligent Design
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“No, no. You don't understand. There aren't two debatable arguments here. See, on one side there's me being right, and on the other side there's you being an idiot.”
Intelligent Design is the absolutely true and totally scientific theory that the Universe is so mind-bogglingly complex that it could only have been designed and constructed by an equally, if not more complex, "Intelligent Designer", whom we shall call the "Creator". It might be the Christian God ...but it's not likely; more likely is Fred Savage, or maybe even Frank Zappa and we're not telling! That's what makes it scientific.[1]
Please note, in reverence to the Christian God, even though this has nothing to do with the Christian God, Intelligent Designer should always be capitalized. [2] If you refuse to capitalize it we’ll smite you in the name of sweet Jesus.
This Creator might not have been a creator at all, but rather a committee of creators. Therefore the official theory makes absolutely no reference to a Christian God. In fact, the theory was run through a word processor which also checked for all common misspelllings, so this is an absolute certain fact! more...
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The Messiah, according to Courtnology. Unlike prophecies, this is based in fact.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:God's Guide to Parenting
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“If you don't agree with absolutely everything I say that means God hates you and you are going to Hell”
- ~ Fred Phelps on Everyone.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Azathoth and Nyarlathotep - Bourgeoisie - Cyborg Judas - Dashboard Confessional - Eggnogsticism - Father Christmas - Great Commission Ministries - Hebrew - Islam - Jewish History - Kaspar Hauser - Lutheranism - Mazda - Noddy - Prayer - Qu'ran - Ten General Commandments of All Humanity - Soul - Totally Torah: Genesis - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Voidism - Wild Jews - Xristianity - Yah-Weh-Oh! -
ZephyrReligious Articles That Need Help
Atheist Doctrine - Brahmin - Colloquialism - Discalced Carmelites - Existence - Faith - Gud - Heresy - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Monk - Nun - Original sin - Passion of the Christ - Quakers - Ramayana - Splenda - The Midnight Sun - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - Whitism -
Zucchini- ↑ Note: we feel this Designer is more likely to be some guy who wants to fly ridiculous airliners around in it, but our pastor would be unhappy to hear us say that, so we're keeping our lips zipped.
- ↑ Please also note that the Intelligent Designer does not have to be intelligent, since Freedom isn't Free.