Difference between revisions of "Depression"

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[[Image:Depression01.jpg|left|thumb|200px|Depression can <s>cause you to pick up one of these rocks and pummel them through your head</s> be caused by emptiness.]]
 
[[Image:Depression01.jpg|left|thumb|200px|Depression can <s>cause you to pick up one of these rocks and pummel them through your head</s> be caused by emptiness.]]
 
I believe sadness is a feeling everyone should appreciate. Sadness is when a person feels like giving joy to the world.
 
I believe sadness is a feeling everyone should appreciate. Sadness is when a person feels like giving joy to the world.
 
 
SMILE is just the oppisite
 
  
 
== Dangers ==
 
== Dangers ==
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<div class="boilerplate metadata" id="stub" width=100%><table CELLPADDING=5 CELLSPACING=5 style="background-color: #FDE3D4; border: solid 1px #B19F95"><tr><td>''This section is too upright. Help Uncyclopedia [{{SERVER}}{{localurl:{{NAMESPACE}}:{{PAGENAME}}|action=edit}} by smashing it's head straight back into it's body.]''.</td></tr></table></div>
 
The treatment for depression is to simply smile. Go ahead, smile right now. You just have to think positive, don't think {{c|negative}}. Think of some jokes, like your favorite:"Why did the chicken cross the road?". That's a weird joke, don't you think? I wonder what it could mean... <s>Hmm... the chicken could symbolize a someone who's scared of life... crossing the road could mean committing suicide... and the other side is, well, whatever happens after death.</s> So, anyways, why did the Chicken cross the road? Wait, what're you doing with your hand...?
 
The treatment for depression is to simply smile. Go ahead, smile right now. You just have to think positive, don't think {{c|negative}}. Think of some jokes, like your favorite:"Why did the chicken cross the road?". That's a weird joke, don't you think? I wonder what it could mean... <s>Hmm... the chicken could symbolize a someone who's scared of life... crossing the road could mean committing suicide... and the other side is, well, whatever happens after death.</s> So, anyways, why did the Chicken cross the road? Wait, what're you doing with your hand...?
 
Also there is a treatment called wrist cutting many emos use this method to cure depression.
 
  
 
===Music can Help===
 
===Music can Help===
 
When Robert Burton wrote his classic work in the 17 century, The Anatomy of Melancholy, it was claimed that it healed mental conditions like Melancholia, Brain Freeze, Stupidity, Imagination, and Head On<ref>Apply directly to the forehead!</ref>. Later it was claimed that instead of the music healing them, maybe the musicians were sneaking medication to the viewers.
 
When Robert Burton wrote his classic work in the 17 century, The Anatomy of Melancholy, it was claimed that it healed mental conditions like Melancholia, Brain Freeze, Stupidity, Imagination, and Head On<ref>Apply directly to the forehead!</ref>. Later it was claimed that instead of the music healing them, maybe the musicians were sneaking medication to the viewers.
 
 
  
 
In November 2006, Dr. Michael J. Crawford and his colleagues went out to prove once and for all that music could help heal the symptoms above, so in the gratifying and hard-working months that followed, they managed to create a beautiful masterpiece that would heal all and many.  
 
In November 2006, Dr. Michael J. Crawford and his colleagues went out to prove once and for all that music could help heal the symptoms above, so in the gratifying and hard-working months that followed, they managed to create a beautiful masterpiece that would heal all and many.  
 
 
  
 
They were caught sneaking medicine.
 
They were caught sneaking medicine.
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* [[Internal audit]]
 
* [[Internal audit]]
 
* [[HowTo:Turn Your Life Around]]
 
* [[HowTo:Turn Your Life Around]]
* [[DRUGS]] LOTS OF STANKY STINKY [[DRUGS]] I CAN TOTALLY HEAR THE COLORS!!!
 
  
 
==Footnotes==
 
==Footnotes==

Revision as of 18:11, 8 October 2007

Part of the Uncyclopedia series on Misery:



He's miserable. Are you?

“I don't want to be funny right now, I'm too depressed, or at least the n00b who's writing this can't be. Nothing new...”

~ Oscar Wilde on Depression

“Turn that frown upside-down!”

~ Your dentist on frowning

“What can I say? I like to exercise.”

~ Exercise freak on frowning

Depression is a common emotion cookie that makes you feel as though you are falling in these... shallow, yet dangerous, holes in the ground, which eat you, at the first sniff of a low self-esteem. Yet later, if you don't commit suicide in your... pointless and meaningless life... Then you realize that there was nothing to be depressed about after all... Which reminds you that you've been wasting all that time that you'll never get back being depressed when you could've been saving abunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.

Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Depression.
Depression can cause you to pick up one of these rocks and pummel them through your head be caused by emptiness.

I believe sadness is a feeling everyone should appreciate. Sadness is when a person feels like giving joy to the world.

Dangers

Despite depression being, well, depressing, it actually, in some ways, makes you feel happy. Like the fact that no one likes you and despises you makes you feel special in some way. Depression sometimes turns up to suicide. Considering suicide also gives you that weird happy feeling where you feel that once your dead, everyone will cry and wish they never said,"I swear, I've seen something that looked just like you in my toilet,(Laughter follows)", but then go on with their daily lives and forget about your... dead... rotting corpse... Never to think a single thought again, never to live or smile again...


Depression can be found in many forms, in this case, The Brady Bunch

Treatment

The treatment for depression is to simply smile. Go ahead, smile right now. You just have to think positive, don't think negative. Think of some jokes, like your favorite:"Why did the chicken cross the road?". That's a weird joke, don't you think? I wonder what it could mean... Hmm... the chicken could symbolize a someone who's scared of life... crossing the road could mean committing suicide... and the other side is, well, whatever happens after death. So, anyways, why did the Chicken cross the road? Wait, what're you doing with your hand...?

Music can Help

When Robert Burton wrote his classic work in the 17 century, The Anatomy of Melancholy, it was claimed that it healed mental conditions like Melancholia, Brain Freeze, Stupidity, Imagination, and Head On[1]. Later it was claimed that instead of the music healing them, maybe the musicians were sneaking medication to the viewers.

In November 2006, Dr. Michael J. Crawford and his colleagues went out to prove once and for all that music could help heal the symptoms above, so in the gratifying and hard-working months that followed, they managed to create a beautiful masterpiece that would heal all and many.

They were caught sneaking medicine.

Most Common Reasons for Depression in Today's Pop Culture


Depressed now? Don't be! Read these to cheer you up(Guarenteed)!

File:Kill Smiley.gif
What he said.

Footnotes

  1. Apply directly to the forehead!