Difference between revisions of "Hindi"

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("transliterated" probably meant "translated" as the previous was in Latin script. Changed color -> colour and -ize to -ise, as this is supposed to be British English.)
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[[File:Hindi.jpg|left]]
 
[[File:Hindi.jpg|left]]
 
[[File:bharat.jpg|thumb|right|''pyaar, prem, mohabbat, ishq''....]]
 
[[File:bharat.jpg|thumb|right|''pyaar, prem, mohabbat, ishq''....]]
In [[India]] भारत each region has its own language. People who speak [[Hindi]] हिन्दी  are also known as Biharis, Bhayyas, Jatts. [[Hindi]] हिन्दी is is spoken by Indians who dont speak the other 700 languages of India. Hindi is a deteriorated version of Sanskrit. It is Ghetto-ized Sanskrit. While people who speak Hindi and 700 other languages in India are mostly Hindus, a mutant version of Hindi, known as [[Urdu]], is spoken by Muslims. Urdu originated when Hindi language got raped by Persian language. Urdu is like the Bastard Child of the Indian Subcontinent. Urdu literally means (Ur - "Whore" in Arabic, du is "child" in Pashto, thus the literal meaning of Urdu is "Bastard Child"). Indians confused about the faith they belong to, i.e. uncertain if they are Hindu, Muslim or [[Gay|50-50]], speak [[Engrish|Hirdu]] while the Christians talk]]. The [[Buddhists]], [[Jainism|Jains]], [[Jews]], [[Zoroaster|Zoroastrians]], [[Zoroaster|Parsis]] and the significantly large religious community of the faith [[Alphabetical order|Et Cetera]] all have their unique home languages to avoid mutual intelligibility. Gandhi, a prominent linguist, and contemporary of [[Noam Chomsky]] -- and also the father of the Indian National Languages ''(well, yes, Gandhi was sexually more virile than his colleague Chomsky)'' -- has praised Hindi thus:
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In [[India]] भारत each region has its own language. People who speak [[Hindi]] हिन्दी  are also known as Biharis, Bhayyas, Jatts. [[Hindi]] हिन्दी is is spoken by Indians who dont speak the other 700 languages of India. Hindi is a deteriorated version of Sanskrit. It is Ghetto-ised Sanskrit. While people who speak Hindi and 700 other languages in India are mostly Hindus, a mutant version of Hindi, known as [[Urdu]], is spoken by Muslims. Urdu originated when Hindi language got raped by Persian language. Urdu is like the Bastard Child of the Indian Subcontinent. Urdu literally means (Ur - "Whore" in Arabic, du is "child" in Pashto, thus the literal meaning of Urdu is "Bastard Child"). Indians confused about the faith they belong to, i.e. uncertain if they are Hindu, Muslim or [[Gay|50-50]], speak [[Engrish|Hirdu]] while the Christians talk]]. The [[Buddhists]], [[Jainism|Jains]], [[Jews]], [[Zoroaster|Zoroastrians]], [[Zoroaster|Parsis]] and the significantly large religious community of the faith [[Alphabetical order|Et Cetera]] all have their unique home languages to avoid mutual intelligibility. Gandhi, a prominent linguist, and contemporary of [[Noam Chomsky]] -- and also the father of the Indian National Languages ''(well, yes, Gandhi was sexually more virile than his colleague Chomsky)'' -- has praised Hindi thus:
  
 
'' "Hindi-Urdu  is not really a language but a beautiful  schizophrenic cricket ball. When the ball hits the pitch at the centre and moves to the right in Devanagari fashion, it is known as Hindi but when it pitches and the batter expects it to swing right, but it violently wobbles up and swings in a reverse direction, it is known as Urdu. "
 
'' "Hindi-Urdu  is not really a language but a beautiful  schizophrenic cricket ball. When the ball hits the pitch at the centre and moves to the right in Devanagari fashion, it is known as Hindi but when it pitches and the batter expects it to swing right, but it violently wobbles up and swings in a reverse direction, it is known as Urdu. "
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=== The rest of the junk ===
 
=== The rest of the junk ===
  
The rest of Hindi Grammar is quite obvious and because it is very similar to Engrish grammar -- ''most readers, we assume, are familiar with Engrish grammar? you may start [[Beginner's Guide|here]] if you aren't'' -- it is not elaborated in this article (See "Grammar" in [[Engrish]] for an elaboration). It's not without that a reason that Hindi and Engrish are both categorized as belonging to the same family of languages, viz. Indo-European languages. Seriously, this is quite a remarkable discovery for we could never have guessed that the two are related until someone had hit us with a cricket bat on our heads - or maybe two cricket bats; a cricket bat and a seasoned ball?
+
The rest of Hindi Grammar is quite obvious and because it is very similar to Engrish grammar -- ''most readers, we assume, are familiar with Engrish grammar? you may start [[Beginner's Guide|here]] if you aren't'' -- it is not elaborated in this article (See "Grammar" in [[Engrish]] for an elaboration). It's not without that a reason that Hindi and Engrish are both categorised as belonging to the same family of languages, viz. Indo-European languages. Seriously, this is quite a remarkable discovery for we could never have guessed that the two are related until someone had hit us with a cricket bat on our heads - or maybe two cricket bats; a cricket bat and a seasoned ball?
  
 
==Comparative linguistics==  
 
==Comparative linguistics==  
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<center>--'''WARNING: Do not attempt understanding the literal translation of a deeply esoteric Hindi thought that follows. Kindly ''just'' read through or skip:'''--</center>
 
<center>--'''WARNING: Do not attempt understanding the literal translation of a deeply esoteric Hindi thought that follows. Kindly ''just'' read through or skip:'''--</center>
  
While [[Europeans]] look at [[Romance novel|romance]] as a sort of brain rot, Indians tend to look at organized thought as a sheer waste of good [[Curry|curry]]. Therefore Hindi, according to the Hindus, is the true language of love. Can you think of any other language with so many words for [[love]]? Can you think? Can you? And if you compare the population growth statistics for , I think the aphrodisiacal effects of Hindi will become apparent to even the most mule-headed [[loser]] without any further explanation.   
+
While [[Europeans]] look at [[Romance novel|romance]] as a sort of brain rot, Indians tend to look at organised thought as a sheer waste of good [[Curry|curry]]. Therefore Hindi, according to the Hindus, is the true language of love. Can you think of any other language with so many words for [[love]]? Can you think? Can you? And if you compare the population growth statistics for , I think the aphrodisiacal effects of Hindi will become apparent to even the most mule-headed [[loser]] without any further explanation.   
  
 
Plus, many modern Indian immigrants are doctors, engineers, and computer programmers. Is there anything more romantic than making heaps and heaps of money and moving to the suburbs?
 
Plus, many modern Indian immigrants are doctors, engineers, and computer programmers. Is there anything more romantic than making heaps and heaps of money and moving to the suburbs?
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#Juggling with a gun and shooting it over a distance of 500 kms.
 
#Juggling with a gun and shooting it over a distance of 500 kms.
 
#Wet sari scenes.
 
#Wet sari scenes.
#Sarees whose color change in between dance numbers.
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#Sarees whose colour change in between dance numbers.
 
#Unibrow.
 
#Unibrow.
  
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"''Zeehale muskin, mukun baranjish, bahaale hijara, bechara dil hai. Sunai deti hai jiski dhadkan, hamara dil ya tumhara dil hai''"
 
"''Zeehale muskin, mukun baranjish, bahaale hijara, bechara dil hai. Sunai deti hai jiski dhadkan, hamara dil ya tumhara dil hai''"
  
The above transliterated into English, reads:
+
The above translated into English, reads:
  
 
"''Get in the barn, [[Sheep|sheep]], and brace your hind legs''"
 
"''Get in the barn, [[Sheep|sheep]], and brace your hind legs''"

Revision as of 11:49, 16 August 2019