Cards Against Humanity is a cruel, deadly game that pits two warring parties -- cards and humanity -- against one another to fight to the death. In an especially cruel fashion, said death rarely occurs in a physical or bloody manner, but instead consists of a victim keeling over and kicking the bucket out of sheer embarrassment, or sometimes, on rare occasions, laughing to death. This makes it a highly popular form of entertainment at college parties and other such social gatherings.
The titular cards come packaged in an unadorned black box. This stark, minimalist design, which evokes the image of an alien monolith looming sinisterly on the horizon, is intended to remind any observer that they are merely a fragile meat-sack staring constantly into the void of death. The game itself, likewise, revolves around this grim principle. Any seasoned player of Cards Against Humanity is well aware that on any day, at any moment, their time may come, be it by chainsaws, sharks, the Care Bear Stare, or... bees?
A boxed set of the game can often be found in the common college dorm or apartment, resting in plain sight on a shelf in the TV cabinet. The idea behind this is much the same as that of ancient philosophers who kept a skull on their desks, thus keeping the concept of death ever fresh in their minds. This placement also makes it quite convenient to pull out and set up during a party. (more...)
Previously Featured Article - Roller derby
Roller derby is a contact sport played by two teams of five members, roller skating around a track. Roller derby is played by 1,250 amateur leagues, mostly in the United States, making it the most prominent pastime-claiming-to-be-a-sport except for four square and hedge-trimming. (more...)
Did you know...
- ... that liberals want to eat your children? (pictured)
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that Tetris is generally considered to be the cause of the collapse of the USSR?
- ... that GMOs are kind of safe? Sort of?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
- ... chickens can count to a hundred but are reluctant to show you up?
- ... Nature abhors a vacuum? So what about brooms?
On this day...
December 10: Nobel Prize Awards Ceremony Day
- 2000 BCE - Egypt gets flooded because the Greeks keep melting ice in the Aegean Sea. Egypt submits to the Mayans in a request for help. The great pyramids are then built by Mayan workmen as dry spots and flood depth markers.
- 1868 - The first traffic lights are installed outside the Houses of Parliament in London. No prizes are awarded, however, as they won't be invented until 33 years later.
- 1901 - The Nobel Prize for Having Died is awarded to Swedish chemist and industrialist Alfred Nobel, for having died on this day in 1896.
- 1936 - The Nobel Prize for Abdicating the Throne is awarded to Edward VIII, for being the only British monarch to voluntarily relinquish the throne. Supporters of Harold Godwinson are outraged.
- 1945 - Nobel Prize for Killing People is controversally awarded to Joseph Stalin, sparking a split in the Nobel committee between pro-gulag and pro-holocaust members.
- 1985 - The Generic Nobel Prize is awarded to the winner for great achievements in his specific field of excellence.
- 1986 - The Nobel Prize for annoying, unimaginative and repetitive self-referential humor with an inane and stupid ending that is awarded to the Nobel Prize for annoying, unimaginative and repetitive self-referential humor with an inane and stupid ending is awarded to the Nobel prize for annoying, unimaginative and repetitive self-referential humor with an inane and stupid ending. (insert inane and stupid ending here)
- 1987 - The Nobel Prize for Chemistry is swallowed by an eel. Laureate Heidelberg Wimschurst is awarded a Tic-Tac in its place.
- 1997 - The Prize for Cynicism is awarded, yet again, to some guy who only won it because he is friends with the voting elite.
- 2004 - The Nobel Prize in Procrastination will be awarded soon. Really. Just give me five seconds, okay?
- 2005 - The Nobel Prize for Predictable Conservative Humour is awarded to those wacky Demoncrats who bumble around in Congress, flip-flopping away, raising taxes and spending our hard-earned money while terrorists rape and murder our children.
- 2006 - Bruce Forsyth receives the Nobel Prize for Hosting Strictly Come Dancing. In a statement, he says: "Proud to receive this award, to receive this award, proud."