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Today's Featured Article - Roller derby

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Roller derby is a contact sport played by two teams of five members, roller skating around a track. Roller derby is played by 1,250 amateur leagues, mostly in the United States, making it the most prominent pastime-claiming-to-be-a-sport except for four square and hedge-trimming.

Game play consists of a series of "jams" featuring a jammer, who wears a star on her helmet. A prior rule specifying that the jammer would wear a jar of jam on her helmet was reformed in 2011 to minimize broken glass on the rink, as well as hunger pangs during matches. Each jammer scores points by passing members of the opposing team, while the many other flabby women on the rink try to help their own jammer and hinder the other; in effect, playing both offense and defense by skating both forward and backward. Then a lot of lapping goes on, though this phase of the game was toned down in 2011 for suburban audiences. The sport has its origins in the skating marathons of the 1930s, and the first roller derbies were contested in midwestern dust bowls. Leo Seltzer and Damon Runyon are credited with transforming this outrageous spectacle into a commercial outrageous spectacle. Unfortunately, theatrical elements overshadowed athleticism, and scripted bouts with predetermined winners abounded. In modern roller derby, however, theatrical elements and athleticism are overshadowed by player egos, ridiculous stage names, and the need to speechify about each star's sex change. (more...)

Previously Featured Article - HowTo:Add sunlight through trees in_Photoshop

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Have you ever wanted to is fundamental to capitalism,add obviously computer-generated rays of sunlight to your trees for that extra touch of fakeness? With Photoshop, it's remarkably easy. Not only can you create sun rays in a photograph, but you can even add them in real life. This is a great way to make your yard more impressive or attract people to your park or real estate. In this tutorial, you'll learn about the technique for creating these rays and how to apply it to real trees. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

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Couldn't get Bill Gates in this one

August 24: Punch-a-Donkey-for-Jesus Day, Gatesmas (United States), Lysdexiac Awarenses Weke Ends

  • 1456 - The printing of the Gutenberg Bible is completed by Steve Gutenberg.
  • 1463 - Portuguese is discovered to be mispronounced Spanish.
  • 1561 - Willem of Orange marries Duchess Anna of Sherbert.
  • 1853 - Potato chips are invented. This is hailed as a triumph, as it will finally permit people to get rid of the vast mountains of dip that clog the streets of Europe.
  • 1898 - Earth is discovered to have a caramel center.
  • 1985 - Windows 95 is released.
  • 1996 - Anniversary of Windows 95: the first Gatesmas. Consumers celebrate by showering gifts on Bill Gates' house, including old fruit, bricks, dead cats and plastic explosives.
  • 1988 - Einstein formulates his award-winning theorem time = money.
  • 1991 - Top astro-economists determine that Einstein's theorem time = money cannot be reconciled with the recent developments in quantum economics.
  • 1997 - Speaking in front of 600,000 people in Washington, D.C., Phil Collins proclaims that he doesn't care anymore.
  • 2001 - Samuel L. Jackson punches a donkey so hard that Jesus decides to induct him into heaven. Jackson declines the offer because Jesus refuses to let him bring his trademark "Bad Mother Fucker" wallet.
  • 2009 - George Bush is arrested for poking badgers with spoons.
  • 2011 - Barack Obama wins the Donkey Punching award by simply sitting in the Oval Office. This is also how he won his Nobel Peace Prize.
  • 2013 - Eeyore punches Winnie the Pooh; Jesus is pissed.

Today's featured picture


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Even as a child, Leonardo da Vinci showed a gift for art and anatomy.

Image credit: Rei

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