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Today's Featured Article - Cards Against Humanity

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Cards Against Humanity is a cruel, deadly game that pits two warring parties -- cards and humanity -- against one another to fight to the death. In an especially cruel fashion, said death rarely occurs in a physical or bloody manner, but instead consists of a victim keeling over and kicking the bucket out of sheer embarrassment, or sometimes, on rare occasions, laughing to death. This makes it a highly popular form of entertainment at college parties and other such social gatherings.

The titular cards come packaged in an unadorned black box. This stark, minimalist design, which evokes the image of an alien monolith looming sinisterly on the horizon, is intended to remind any observer that they are merely a fragile meat-sack staring constantly into the void of death. The game itself, likewise, revolves around this grim principle. Any seasoned player of Cards Against Humanity is well aware that on any day, at any moment, their time may come, be it by chainsaws, sharks, the Care Bear Stare, or... bees?

A boxed set of the game can often be found in the common college dorm or apartment, resting in plain sight on a shelf in the TV cabinet. The idea behind this is much the same as that of ancient philosophers who kept a skull on their desks, thus keeping the concept of death ever fresh in their minds. This placement also makes it quite convenient to pull out and set up during a party. (more...)

Previously Featured Article - Roller derby

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Roller derby is a contact sport played by two teams of five members, roller skating around a track. Roller derby is played by 1,250 amateur leagues, mostly in the United States, making it the most prominent pastime-claiming-to-be-a-sport except for four square and hedge-trimming. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured.png Ped Xing, featured on 20 October 2017. See the featured version.

Did you know...

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  • ... that David Bowie was advised by New Ager Gwyneth Paltrow to get weekly injections of datura and bathe regularly in mink oil? (pictured)
  • ... the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
  • ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
  • ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
  • ... that Alexander the Great would ride his horse in front of his troops before battle, so they would be so mad at having to march in horseshit they would be ready to fight anything and everything?
  • ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
  • ... that the Philadelphia Eagles have won 10 consecutive Super Bowls, but only in their minds?

In the news:

On this day...

This sign was erected on October 20th...no, wait, it was the 21st. Never mind.

October 20: Run Out of Ideas for Uncyclopedia Anniversaries Day

  • 1735 - A French pot head trips on the remains of Napoleon, nobody gives a damn except for a very young Keith Richards.
  • 1846 - Engrish troops invade Minnesota, realize they took a wrong turn on the way to France and turn around. Indians scalp and rape several. Queen Victoria then leads the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers in revenge raids after defeating Batman and UltraZachary Taylor.
  • 1864 - Abraham Lincoln issues the Emancipation Proclamation as a joke; unfortunately, nobody gets it.
  • 1965 - A flying saucer lands in California, Scientology briefly becomes popular, at least until the government fire bombs all the celebrities. A massive cover up ensues but is discovered by an intrepid pair of FBI agents, Yogi and Boo Boo.
  • 1969 - Oscar Wilde is discovered painting a mosaic of Islamic extremists with his urine. Extremists eat sacred cows in retaliation. Gandhi is shocked and appalled, the movie Gandhi II is released as a result of real world events.
  • 1980 - The world is taken over by the governmen... er... um... Hey guys, how are you? What with those guns pointed at my head? Everything suddenly turns black. I awaken in a dimly lit room with only a hamster turning a wheel. The hamster stops and says, "You have just won $1 million in the American Clearinghouse Sweepstakes!" I wake up and it's only a dream! I open the paper and see the world is taken over by the governmen... er... um... Hey guys, how are you?...
  • 1982 - Mount St. Helens erupts in Washington, killing several million hikers and causing US$390 trillion in damage. Government cover up of the tragedy includes flying monkeys with super-soakers.
  • 1988 - Two U.S. Army roflcopters collide in Fort Campbell, Kentucky, killing 1337 squirrels.
  • 1990 - South Korean scientists recreate Mohammed from cloned DNA of a chihuahua. The world falls into darkness.
  • π - The US Supreme Court declares that π has just as much of a right to be a year as any other year and declares the next 20 years to be the year π as back pay for this injustice over two millennia old.
  • 2012 - The apocalypse at the end of the world as opposed to the apocalypse at the beginning is discovered to have been caused by Unyclopedia running out of ideas for anniversaries. Mission accomplished.

Today's featured picture


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This is just tasteless. Absolutely juvenile!

Image credit: User:Zana Dark

Recent Articles

Green New Deal | Peter Jackson (pictured) | Saladin | Greta Thunberg | QAnon | Prince Andrew | Monotheism | 4th century | Justin I | 5th century | Jeffrey Epstein | Cards Against Humanity | Wasting time | Kashmir (r/w) | Niños Héroes | 6th century | Newfoundland (restored) | John the Baptist | Sputnik (r/w) | The Ritz Hotel, London | Beast of Bodmin Moor


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Potatohead aqua.png Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
<includeonly>Template:FA/01 April 2008Template:FA/2008</includeonly>