Difference between revisions of "Oceanic Airlines"

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m (Feel free to develop this notion to article length, but the number 69 is not a laugh riot by itself)
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[[File:Oceanic.svg|thumb|right|The current Oceanic Airlines logo.]]
 
[[File:Oceanic.svg|thumb|right|The current Oceanic Airlines logo.]]
 
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'''Oceanic Airlines''' is an international commercial airline which specializes in aeronautical transport. Oceanic Airlines is renowned for having many unfortunate "incidents" aboard their [[Airplanes|aeronautical transports vessels]]. Instead of the normal factual information an encyclopedia article would, and should,  
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'''Oceanic Airlines''' is an international commercial airline which specializes in aeronautical transport to ocean destinations. Oceanic Airlines is renowned for having many unfortunate "incidents" aboard their [[Airplanes|aeronautical transports vessels]]. Instead of the normal factual information an encyclopedia article would, and should,  
 
have on a commercial enterprise, this article will have information solely on those unfortunate incidents mentioned about thirty-six words ago. As it is  [[cabal|our]] duty to relay these "incidents" without prejudice or bias, there will be no opinion included in the reports here, only cold hard truth.
 
have on a commercial enterprise, this article will have information solely on those unfortunate incidents mentioned about thirty-six words ago. As it is  [[cabal|our]] duty to relay these "incidents" without prejudice or bias, there will be no opinion included in the reports here, only cold hard truth.
 
[[File:Airplane-fall-apart.jpg|thumb|left|A typical Oceanic flight.]]
 
[[File:Airplane-fall-apart.jpg|thumb|left|A typical Oceanic flight.]]
  
 
== Flight 815 ==
 
== Flight 815 ==
There are no "official" records of a flight "815", therefore none ever [[Conspiracy|existed]].
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There are no "official" records of a flight "815", therefore none ever [[Conspiracy|existed]]. It is believed that this flight originated from a military base in Sydney, Australia. This flight was advertised as going to Los Angeles, but the men in black aboard the plane had another idea. Top secret information was accidentally leaked to the passengers on this flight, so the entire passenger list of this flight was quarantined at an undisclosed Oceanic location. It is rumored that 12 of the passengers were actually secret agents. 
  
 
== Flight 762 ==
 
== Flight 762 ==

Latest revision as of 03:50, 17 November 2019

The current Oceanic Airlines logo.

Oceanic Airlines is an international commercial airline which specializes in aeronautical transport to ocean destinations. Oceanic Airlines is renowned for having many unfortunate "incidents" aboard their aeronautical transports vessels. Instead of the normal factual information an encyclopedia article would, and should, have on a commercial enterprise, this article will have information solely on those unfortunate incidents mentioned about thirty-six words ago. As it is our duty to relay these "incidents" without prejudice or bias, there will be no opinion included in the reports here, only cold hard truth.

A typical Oceanic flight.

Flight 815[edit]

There are no "official" records of a flight "815", therefore none ever existed. It is believed that this flight originated from a military base in Sydney, Australia. This flight was advertised as going to Los Angeles, but the men in black aboard the plane had another idea. Top secret information was accidentally leaked to the passengers on this flight, so the entire passenger list of this flight was quarantined at an undisclosed Oceanic location. It is rumored that 12 of the passengers were actually secret agents.

Flight 762[edit]

Flight 762 has been involved in two incidents, they are as follows:

Incident 1[edit]

Forced to land because of a freak thunderstorm.

Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Oceanic Airlines.

Incident 2[edit]

Nerve agent attack was threatened by an insane man.

Flight 666[edit]

Fuckin' exploded man, it just fuckin' exploded.

Flight 456[edit]

First officer murdered in-flight.

Flight 420[edit]

Pilot and first officer convicted of FUI (flying under the influence) after all 150 passengers came down with motion sickness.

Flight 408[edit]

Brought down by a magical storm over Canada.

Flight 343[edit]

Skyjacked by Islamic Terrorists, was skyjacked by North Koreans a few days later.

Flight 100[edit]

Flight time reportedly took longer than usual, due to a southerly breeze coming from the north. Kevin Smith was also a passenger aboard this flight.