Difference between revisions of "Template:Lead articles"

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Revision as of 02:24, 14 September 2019

Huffman flunks big test
BOSTON, Massachusetts -- Actress Felicity Huffman was sentenced today for bribing a high school counselor to fake crucial SAT scores to get her daughter into a "cool school".

Huffman's daughter made a public statement outside the courtroom. "It is not good to discover that your mother thinks you are too stupid to get into college." She was then taken away to begin a lifetime of therapy and mind-numbing drugs. Full story»


India moon failure provokes joyous new mood
ROHTAK, India -- PM Modi said an "Isro spirit" has gripped the country following moon mission Chandrayaar-2, as the events of September 7 got everyone to sit around the television at the same time.

The unmanned Vikram lunar lander was to do a quick check for flocks of penguins and then — when India was on the verge of joining the exclusive soft-moon-landing "club" of three nations — Full story»

Beresheet takes moon photo, mission not total loss
MOON -- Israel's Beresheet spacecraft snapped a stunning lunar panorama moments before it crash-landed, though less stunning than the fact that it cost $100 million.

Engineers and politicians were putting the best face on the dramatic waste of money on the part of a nation notoriously tight with it. Full story»


Tommy Robinson to be new UK ambassador for USA
LONDON, United Kingdom -- Boris Johnson intends to appoint Tommy Robinson as the new British ambassador to the USA, being the only suitable liaison to President Donald Trump.

The vacancy occurred when ex-ambassador Sir Nigel Kim Darroch's emails to Theresa May were leaked. They had described Trump as "mad, insane, crazy, and just batshit nuts." Full story»

Britons prepare for no-deal Brexit
LONDON -- Brave British citizens are preparing for the day when the United Kingdom slams the door on the European Union and goes it alone on 31st October.

"This is Our Day of Destiny," said chief caveman Prime Minister Boris Johnson. "Britons, we have survived the Ice Age before and we will do it again. Trust me. (Someone has to.)" Full story»


Trump and Buffett set for bidding war on Greenland
OMAHA, Nebraska -- Donald Trump asked White House aides to explore acquiring the ice paradise that costs owner Denmark $600 million every year.

However, Warren Buffett is reportedly sitting on $112,000 million dollars — "far beyond" the level that executives of Berkshire Hathaway prefer — and it is literally burning a hole in his pocket. Full story»

San Fran to build housing inspired by Star Wars
SAN FRANCISCO, California -- Rapper Kanye West has devised low-income housing based on the childhood home of Luke Skywalker on the Star Wars planet Tatooine.

A reporter described the prototypes as "skeletons of wooden spaceships." However, it is reported that West refers to the residences as "single-wides." Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
  • dept — An optional "department" legend that will appear centered above the headline. Use them only in the 1-Spot; in the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens. Lowercase letters will become small capitals, but they won't look very good. Typical "departments" are:
    • BREAKING NEWS or URGENT for stories that either are relevant to big real-world news, or are not
    • EXCLUSIVE for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • PANIC in the SKIES — prized by all journalists, especially if it should have been the Happiest Day of the Year
    • NAVEL-GAZING for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • FEATURE for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
    • ORIGINAL for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • EDITORIAL for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • COLUMN for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional — If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • border — Normally, none. If you type the CSS name of a color here (or use the form #000 or #000000), a border of that color is drawn around the graphic. Specifying black is appropriate for obituaries.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using dept or border, set it to none. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!-- short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.