Difference between revisions of "Template:Lead articles"

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(These R Old)
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|title = Japan to hide trash in invisible ink
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|summary = '''TSU, [[Japan]]''' -- <!-- WRITE YOUR ARTICLE HERE! --> After receiving backlash from environmentalists about Japan's excessive use of plastics, the government has taken a new approach to reducing waste: just hide it.
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The government has announced that it has hired several [[ninja]]s to douse the mountains of trash in invisible ink.
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Revision as of 17:36, 11 October 2019

Japan to hide trash in invisible ink
TSU, Japan -- After receiving backlash from environmentalists about Japan's excessive use of plastics, the government has taken a new approach to reducing waste: just hide it.

The government has announced that it has hired several ninjas to douse the mountains of trash in invisible ink. Full story»

Whistleblowers threatened by The Don
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has officially made it open season on whistleblowers.

Anyone found holding or blowing a whistle will be immediately impeached and tried as a 'ball-buster'. Full story»


Huffman flunks big test
BOSTON, Massachusetts -- Actress Felicity Huffman was sentenced today for bribing a high school counselor to fake crucial SAT scores to get her daughter into a "cool school".

Huffman's daughter made a public statement outside the courtroom. "It is not good to discover that your mother thinks you are too stupid to get into college." She was then taken away to begin a lifetime of therapy and mind-numbing drugs. Full story»

NY Times gets flak for calling physicist a "climate dentist"
NEW YORK CITY -- The New York Times is taking criticism for labeling Princeton professor William Happer a "climate dentist."

The nation's "newspaper of record" has faced declines in print advertising and subscription revenue, which it has offset by laying off its erstwhile army of sub-editors. Full story»


India moon failure provokes joyous new mood
ROHTAK, India -- PM Modi said an "Isro spirit" has gripped the country following moon mission Chandrayaar-2, as the events of September 7 got everyone to sit around the television at the same time.

The unmanned Vikram lunar lander was to do a quick check for flocks of penguins and then — when India was on the verge of joining the exclusive soft-moon-landing "club" of three nations — Full story»

No, Vikram is very dead
CHENNAI, India -- As India completes a fortnight of national hoping for a response from the lunar lander Vikram, scientists at the India Space Research Organisation (Isro) confirmed that the lander is kaput.

One anonymous scientist said Isro did not need 14 days but about 14 seconds to realise it had launched a spectacular dud. Full story»


Tommy Robinson to be new UK ambassador for USA
LONDON, United Kingdom -- Boris Johnson intends to appoint Tommy Robinson as the new British ambassador to the USA, being the only suitable liaison to President Donald Trump.

The vacancy occurred when ex-ambassador Sir Nigel Kim Darroch's emails to Theresa May were leaked. They had described Trump as "mad, insane, crazy, and just batshit nuts." Full story»

Britons prepare for no-deal Brexit
LONDON -- Brave British citizens are preparing for the day when the United Kingdom slams the door on the European Union and goes it alone on 31st October.

"This is Our Day of Destiny," said chief caveman Prime Minister Boris Johnson. "Britons, we have survived the Ice Age before and we will do it again. Trust me. (Someone has to.)" Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
  • dept — An optional "department" legend that will appear centered above the headline. Use them only in the 1-Spot; in the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens. Lowercase letters will become small capitals, but they won't look very good. Typical "departments" are:
    • BREAKING NEWS or URGENT for stories that either are relevant to big real-world news, or are not
    • EXCLUSIVE for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • PANIC in the SKIES — prized by all journalists, especially if it should have been the Happiest Day of the Year
    • NAVEL-GAZING for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • FEATURE for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
    • ORIGINAL for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • EDITORIAL for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • COLUMN for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional — If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • border — Normally, none. If you type the CSS name of a color here (or use the hexadecimal format #rgb or #rrggbb), a border of that color is drawn around the graphic. Specifying black is appropriate for obituaries.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using dept or border, set it to none. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!-- short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.