.APp Tank

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Apple Brand .app Tank, Weapon of Mass Destruction and/or Friendship (the tank made by apple, not the modified one that Bill Gates made).

Created by Macintosh in 2013, the .APp Tank is regarded as the "new age of weaponry." The .APp (or .app) Tank was created since AP rounds became utterly useless due to the Industrial Revolution of 2010. AP (or armor-piercing) rounds just couldn't penetrate the thick armor of the newer tanks.

Versatility and use of the .APp Tank in WWIII[edit]

The .app tank fires .app files at the enemy tank. All .app rounds are stored in the Central Macintosh Mainframe, a ammo bank inside of the tank. Not only are the new .app rounds effective, but they are also very versatile. The tank operator can choose rounds that could either destroy the enemy tank, or kill the crew inside. The .App tank was very useful in World War III, when a tank commander launched a "Gangnam Style" .APp round, causing everyone to dance awkwardly instead of firing nukes at each other.

Bill Gates, the doomsday weapon of ISIS[edit]

The true face of a Madman (Bill Gates's Threat Face).

Having stopped WWIII, everyone thought the .App tank was amazing, except for multimillionaire Bill Gates. He was jealous of Macintosh's new creation, so he tried to make his own version. This attempt failed, and the tank-in-progress exploded, destroying the whole Microsoft corporation. Bill Gates had nothing left, except for pure hatred against Macintosh. This caused him to use the last of his money to buy one of the .app tanks. He made a minor modification: He hacked the Central Macintosh, so it could use more than just .app files. This resulted in a Weapon that was uncontrollable, a weapon that any nerd would say, is OP and needs to be nerfed. Bill Gates then became a terrorist, exploding Macintosh Corporation buildings with a bass cannon. He kept rampaging with the tank, until the government caught up with him. He then was forced to run away to Liechtenstein, increasing its army size to 3 men, but was forced to leave because he accidentally ran over their 1X1X1 rubix cube. He had nowhere to go, but then had the idea of joining ISIS. This gave ISIS's threats a whole new level of fear, since it included a minute long firing test of "Nyan Cat," which resulted in making Beethoven deaf.

The ghost of Steve Jobs[edit]

This act made Steve Jobs jump out of his grave as a ghost, then haunt Apple for creating such a deadly weapon, especially one that fell into Microsoft's hands. He found that if production continued, World War 4 would happen, so he forced the banning of the weapon. The ghost of Steve Jobs explained that this idea was almost as bad as the idea of Windows 8. Almost.