Arrodancing
“Harold will be here, dancing? He never tells me when he's coming!”
Originally developed in Ancient Times, the form of Interpretive Dance known as Arrodancing was recently rediscovered by the famous undead explorer, Major John F. Lacey. This form of dance demands meticulous control over important parts of the body and a wholesome portion of arrows.
Arrodancing Basics[edit]
The Arrodance involves Arrows. This being said, there are very few limitations to how an individual Arrodancer (Arrodancing individualists are common) should move. The main point (bad pun) of Arrodance is, by the end of the night, be mortally wounded with at least three Arrows. Veteran Arrodancers are rare.
Why Three Arrows?[edit]
The Three Arrows represent three distinct levels of mystical realms that an Arrodancer can reach:
The First Arrow[edit]
The First Arrow of the dance symbolises courage, felixibility, and the will to try new things. Anyone who has reached the First Arrow has to have an open mind and carefree spirit."
The Second Arrow[edit]
The Second Arrow of Arrodance signifies tenacity and gumption, for taking the First Arrow should have been painful enough. The hutzpah to ask for another Arrow is what separates the men from the men who don't really want to die."
The Third Arrow[edit]
The Third (and hopefully final) Arrow represents a brainless stubborn-ness that only the fanatically religious can harness. That or a serious lack of will to live that generally manifests in the people we never want around anyway
Arrodances With Wolves Dinosaurs[edit]
Arronians (historians that specialise in Arrodancing, not to be confused with Argonians or Erronians, who are a race of lizards and people who are always wrong, respectively) have almost no material evidence (i.e. none) for Arrodance before the rise of man, anecdotal evidence suggests that Arrodancehalls were prevalent by the early Devonarian period, placing their construction dates in the mid-Silurian period.
As this was a primitive time, the form of Arrodance was questionable at best. The inhabitants of the time (dinosaurs for the most part, except for those who don't believe in said creatures. Note that not believing in dinosaurs, especially when one is living in the same time period as the giant reptiles, is generally considered to be a bad idea) lacked the mental capability to produce simple machines, thereby resulting in no bows to shoot the arrows, nor the arrows themselves. To compensate for this, the large predatory dinosaurs with sharp, arrow-like teeth (i.e. T-rexes, Mothers-in-law) would utilise their sharp, arrow-like teeth in place of arrows. Not wanting to use the aforementioned teeth on themselves, most of the predators would conscript local herbivores as personal Arrodancers, however it is hotly debated as to whether the "prey" were truly Arrodancing with the "predators" or simply dying. Proponents of Consentual Arrodancing believe that the first true Arrodance was between a velociraptor and one of those badass (quite literally) spiky-tailed herbivores.
ArroDanceDance Revolution[edit]
The custom of Arrodancing had two major revolutions before modern day, the Invention of the Arrow and the Renaissance.
The Invention of the Arrow[edit]
After humans evolved (or were magically created out of dust and ribs), they eventually developed Arrows, and the estranged uncle of Modern Arrodance was born. Arrodancing from the invention of the Arrow to the Renaissance mostly included Medieval Siege Arrodances (MSA). MSA's were usualy very little fun for either side, which was in keeping with the vogue of that time. Arrows (remember, Arrows are very important) would fly across the Arrodancehall into their unsuspecting victims pennliess serfs willing participants. Some Arrodancers were even Arrogant enough to think they needed to dance in Challenge Mode, and wore armoured protection such as chain or platemail. Even with their handicaps, these players often enough achieved the coveted Third Arrow, and promptly died from its glory.
The Renaissance[edit]
In a misguided attempt to prevent death and further the human race into areas of logic and reasoning, the main thinkers of the Renaissance (mostly Italians) effectually abolished Arrodance and its rituals to the most inaccessible areas of the Earth. With the purifying effects of Arrodancing banished from society, mankind went on to accomplish the Holocaust, every war that has happened since said "Renaissance", and the death of kittens (which terribly diminishes their use).
Re-Discovery[edit]
In the year 2001, former U.S. Congressman Major John F. Lacey was cured of his terminal illness, Death, which he had been suffering from since September, 1913. Emboldened by the obvious fact that he was undead, and therefore safe from most mortal harm (namely, getting dead), Lacey became an explorer of the highest regard, searching out heretofore undiscovered treasures such as the Loincloth of Laertes and the Pendant of Prestidigitation. Using his magnanimous facial hair, Lacey explored into the most inaccessible areas of the Earth and, in the year 2003, found a tomb, inside which a casket full of Arrodance was found. After cracking the casket open, Arrodancing broke out of its prison and spread across the world, turning what was formerly a dead art form into a thriving medium for change
Modern Arrodance[edit]
The Arrodance we know and love today is by far the purest and most perfect form of Arrodance yet to manifest in any society. Disinfected Arrows, expert archers, and modern medicine have contributed to three, sometimes even four-dance veterans. Today, Arrodancehalls can be found across the country.
The Arrodancehall[edit]
The Arrodancehall comes in many forms and sizes. In prehistoric times, Arrodancing was performed in virtually any environment. To this day, that hasn't changed. Due to the high mortality rates of Arrodances, Arrodancehall owners don't need to worry about more conventional matters of venues, such as refreshments, snacks, establishing a safe environment, salmon, janitorial duties (Arrodancing is a dirty business, after all), and closing times. Some of the most famous (and assumed most popular) Arrodancehalls were battles in the War of 1812, William Tell's abode, Sherwood Forest, and the DC Universe.