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Today's featured article – The Addams Family The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more. John Addams was born on October 30, 1735 in Quincy, Massachusetts. However, creepily, he was not known as John Quincy Addams, as that would be the other one, who was not known as anything at the time. John was the son of a cordwainer, also named John and also not named Quincy. He was a Puritan, railing against libertinage and debauchery. And he was a Federalist. All pretty creepy, at least the archaic verbiage. (more...) Recently featured: Finnish sauna The B-52s UnNews:I had a birthday and you need to know it Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Finnish sauna The Sauna (pronounced SOW-NAH), or "Really Hot Place Containing Naked People" is a Finnish invention that many nations (i.e. Russia) falsely claim to have invented (See liar),[1] It was first recorded in the year 1050 B.C (Before cookies) by the Sosumi people in the Arctic Circle as a range of sounds to use everytime they hooked in a seal for dinner. (more...) DID Y0U KN0W... ... that the Silver Surfer has a very large family? (pictured) ... that space is just a money-making scheme by NASA? ... that a 40 foot tall pine tree is almost always taller than a 30 foot tall one? ... that the butler did it? ... that the parasitic wasp Lathrolestes luteolator has changed its host from the sawfly to Steve Harvey?? ... an apple a day keeps the doctor away if thrown hard enough? ... that contrary to the name, the London Underground is actually quite well known?

IN 7H3 N3W5 French guard Buckingham Palace (pictured) Congressman inadvertently uses hurtful slur, millions traumatized Royal shock as original photo discovered Biden v Trump rematch confirmed UK bans puberty for children Germany spills British military secrets Scientists meld nuclear fusion and AI Brits make book on King Charles cancer U.S. returns to the moon Miami aliens finger new Epstein clients Israel boasts of precision in bombings it didn't do Ukraine destroys large Russian warship, again GOP will have no candidates in 2024 Argentina goes off the deep end Beatles complete sequel trilogy 0N 7HI5 D4Y... April 20: Hitler's Birthday (Germany), Marijuana Day (countries that use the M/D/Y date) 420 - Thousands of marijuana users get throughly ripped as a once-in-a-lifetime numerical coincidence coincidentifies with a 75-times-in-a-lifetime num... where was I? 571 - Cassius Clay is born; later changes name to Muhammad, hails himself as "greatest prophet of all time, baby!" 1607 - White settlers arrive at Jamestown, find nothing of value except some inedible, brown leaves and some equally inedible brown people, so they go home. 1792 - France declares war on itself and surrenders. 1814 - The War of 1812 begins, two years behind schedule. 1889 - Adolf Hitler, perhaps best known for his genocide of the Jews brilliant artwork, is born. 1889 - Meanwhile, in a small town in Bavaria, Adolf Hilter is certainly not born. 1991 - A Very Brady Easter premieres; Alice is crucified to the songs of the Lovin Spoonful. 1993 - Al Gore invents the Environment. 1994 - A fireworks display in Oklahoma City goes horribly wrong; a bystander is blamed and later executed. 1999 - Columbine high school opens the very first high school shooting range in the United States. 2007 - Cho Seung-Hui arrives in Hell. Even Satan is not amused. 2012 - The largest Marijuana festival is held in San Francisco, California with as many as a billion pot smokers attended. 2014 - The time code is discovered and the code is 3.141592653589793238462643383279.

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[vote] Bermuda.gif Bermuda.gif - 17 total votes ( 29 / 12 ) The Bermuda Triangle strikes again! Image credit: The Hedgehog

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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