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J.D. Salinger wrote a book about baseball or bread or something.
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Wednesday August 31 2005

Today's Featured Article - Why?:Drink blood


Blood is something you probably never thought about drinking, though you probably should. Drinking blood has health benefits and may help you make a cultural statement about yourself.

Blood is full of protein, which everybody knows is healthy for you. Protein is made up of amino acids and plays a vital role in repairing and building bones and muscles.[1] And everybody needs to consume more protein as part of their healthy eating habits. More protein leads to good muscle tone, strong bones, and a healthy weight. Protein also helps fill you up! (more...)

Previously Featured Article - Niños Héroes

Juan Escutia.jpg

The Niños Héroes (NEE-nyose AIR-o-ace, "Baby Heroes") were six Mexican teenage military cadets who died in 1847 defending Chapultepec Castle from U.S. forces. Their story illustrates three tenets of Mexican culture: (more...)

You can give ePropz for your fave entries!

comment on this post!! plzthx!!!


domizianogalia & T1m2 ! just totally posted this stuff!:

  • ... Nature abhors a vacuum? So what about brooms?

More more more

Calender, don't forget my B-DAY

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February 18: Martian Invasion Day

  • 1789 - Capybaras decide to part their hair on the right side. For unknown reasons, this enrages Martians.
  • 1877 - Astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli is the first to observe canali on Mars, leading to people speculating that there is water in canals and therefore life on Mars. However, we know today Schiaparelli was misinterpreted, actually saying he saw carnivali with large Ferris wheels and roller coasters.
  • 1881 - Martians begin to eye Earth while their 35 other eyes keep to the task at hand: Go Fish.
  • 1898 - Martians attempt their first invasion of the Earth. They attempt to establish fast-growing Martian red weed but immediately upon planting it is snatched up by humans and smoked. They are also keen on hentai tentacle rape but catch so many STDs that they nearly all die.
  • 1932 - The Mars Bar is invented in England and successfully invades the rest of the world, using the name "Mickey Way" in America. Martians are agog, while Adolf Hitler watches and waits.
  • 1953 - Martians invade again, this time hiding in a sandpit in the US. They now have new technology, miniaturized mind control devices that are very slowly implanted for dramatic tension. Unfortunately their hulking minions get their zippers caught on anything and everything, even underground. After worrying they might have left the stove on, Martians decide to return home.
  • 1977 - Little silver aliens attempt to land in the US but are foiled as their landing spot, a pile of mashed potatoes, proves to be too soft due to too much milk and butter added to the mix.
  • 1978 - Invading Martians are driven off again, this time by the repetitive prog rock soundtrack used with news programming and a droning Richard Burton doing voiceover commentary.
  • 2000 - Rock finally beats paper but is disqualified on appeal after camera review.
  • 2010 - Martians land again but it is only to return the Sojourner and Spirit rover vehicles with parking tickets attached.

Even more kool stuff!!!!!!!!

Writer of the Month

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.

Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!

It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 36,285 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019.

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  1. Protein foods, Heart Foundation.