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37,240 articles in Canadian, eh?
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Today's featured article
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The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more.
John Addams was born on October 30, 1735 in Quincy, Massachusetts. However, creepily, he was not known as John Quincy Addams, as that would be the other one, who was not known as anything at the time. John was the son of a cordwainer, also named John and also not named Quincy. He was a Puritan, railing against libertinage and debauchery. And he was a Federalist. All pretty creepy, at least the archaic verbiage. (more...)
Previously featured article – Finnish sauna
The Sauna (pronounced SOW-NAH), or "Really Hot Place Containing Naked People" is a Finnish invention that many nations (i.e. Russia) falsely claim to have invented (See liar),[1] It was first recorded in the year 1050 B.C (Before cookies) by the Sosumi people in the Arctic Circle as a range of sounds to use everytime they hooked in a seal for dinner. (more...)
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In the news
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On this day...
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April 25: National Morbid Obesity Appreciation Day
- 0 - The world's first April 25th is celebrated. Nostradamus predicts the world's first April 26th to occur a day later. He later predicts the birth of Jimbo Wales and the creation of Wikipedia, but no one believes him due to the idea of both being so stupid.
- 908 - A horde of plus-sized Vikings raid the east coast of Britain and set up a new IKEA store.
- 1301 - First known use of the phrase 'I don't give a shit' thought to have been said somewhere around London, England.
- 1607 - Dutch Commando Dykes led by Hans Solo destroy the anchored Spanish fleet.
- 1847 - The last survivors of the Donner Party are out of the wilderness. Shortly after, the first McDonners resturant opens. First item on the menu: McRibs.
- 1862 - The worlds first battery operated fork is created; two million die during its first use.
- 1915 - Australians invade Turkey, only to piss off next year.
- 1918 - Turks invade Australia, but stay permanently to drive taxis.
- 1950 - The Michelin Man is born.
- 1955 - The first McDonalds is opened.
- 1956 - Obesity is a recognized health problem.
- 1957 - Overweight Appreciation Day is upgraded to Morbid Obesity Appreciation Day, whilst Overweight Appreciation Day changes to 25th December.
- 1986 - First annual (and only) all-night Soviet Power Plant Workers' Tetris Competition is held.
- 1990 - Astronauts deploying the Hubble Space Telescope drop it on the way out the door, knocking it slightly out of focus.
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Prime Minister and Canuck of the Month
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Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear.
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