C.S. Lewis

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C.S. Lewis was a racist, pigheaded, lying Catholic, best known for writing the very UN-popular children's series A Series of Unfortunate Events. He was born August 19th, 1886. He joined the KKK at age 8 and commonly persecuted blacks, homosexuals,Jews, unicorns, gypsies, mentally retarded people and the inhabitants of Narnia. In 1948, he began writing books on his "charitable" work with the Klan. He later went on to write A Series of Unfortunate Events. Sadly (not really), he perished on September 11th, 2001, when the jet he was flying on crashed into one of the two towers. He will not be missed.

Work with the Klan[edit]

Other than his work on A Series of Unfortunate Events, C.S. Lewis may be best known for his work with the Klan. He opened up a number of what he called "Ethnic Cleansing Washrooms." When questioned about his "achievements" by the police, he replied simply, "While those damned n*ggers did need a bath, didn't they?" Lewis was promptly arrested after the incident and, after a bad court hearing, was sentenced to spend 10 years in jail. During this time, he began his writing work. He published several popular novels including The White Mans Burden, One Fish, Two Fish, Black Fish, Jew Fish and The Poisonous Mushroom.

A Series of Unfortunate Events and other works[edit]

After being released from prison, Lewis went on to publish more successful books (many of them being romantic tales set in Concentration Camps). In the later years of his life, Lewis wrote the first of a long line of horibble stories using the same plot line every time. The storybook saga was entitled A Series of Unfortunate Events. Each story involved a moneygrubbing Jewish actor who imitated Count Dracula trying to nab a band of pesky little Neo-Nazi children, but always failing. The series caused a lot of fuss. That is, until everyone figured out that Lewis was using the same damn plot line every single freakin' time.

Death[edit]

...And so it happened that Lewis died an unhappy death. His booksales were way down, and when he boarded a flight heading from Boston to L.A., it happened to be the very plane that crashed into one of the two towers. The date was September 11th, 2001 and C.S. Lewis had boarded American Airlines Flight 11. It is said that his last words were "Damned Sand N*ggers!!!" There is now a memorial dedicated to him at the Auschwitz Nazi Death Camp.