Darth Vader is Luke's father
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Darth Vader is Luke's father!
No, really... he is. Oh wait, you knew that already? How? Did you see the movie? What? It's in every Star Wars movie? Oh. What do you mean you were born after 1980, and everybody knows this before they even see it? So you mean, it's not a surprise then?
Episode 1: Darth Vader is a virgin[edit]
Well, he is. I mean, he's 10-years-old, it'd be more weird if he wasn't. But, he does have the same last name as Luke, foreshadowing that he will, one day, will become his father.
Episode 2: Darth Vader gets married to Luke's mum[edit]
Cause everybody knows that sex before marriage is a sin.
Episode 3: Darth Vader kills Luke's mum[edit]
Vader kills his pregnant wife, killing the baby. Or so he thinks. Turns out that 'Luke' is the last word that his dying mother utters.
Episode 4: Darth Vader comes home with the milk[edit]
Obi-Wan tells Luke that Vader killed his father, which is true... from a certain point of view.
Episode 5: Darth Vader IS Luke's father[edit]
BLAM! See? Vader says so himself! Didn't see that coming, did you? What? Oh, you already saw Epsiode 3?
Episode 6: Darth Vader is still Luke's father[edit]
Since Vader is Luke's father, that's why he couldn't throw him down a shaft when the Emperor asked him! Makes sense, right? What kind of father would do such thing like that to his own son?
Well, as you can see, now that we've established that, the Ewoks can go on to win a great victory — based on the general fact that is Darth Vader being Luke's father, and what-not.
Episode 7: Darth Vader is Kylo Ren's grandfather[edit]
See? Star Wars 7 does have some new and original ideas!
