Edward de Bono
“You want a quote from me? De Bono invented quotes!”
Edward de Bono or Edward of Good was a pseudonym that related back to the reason for the change of name, as in court he was asked to point to where the bad man touched him on the "Good Teddy". Good Teddy hence became Teddy of Good. Unfortunately his real name has been lost in the annals of history.
About the man
Edward de Bono is a writer and yeast advocate. He is most famous for the invention of thought, creativity and Marmite. He is also most famous for being far better than YOU!! He is Maltese but resents the fact and currently calls himself British. He lost his virginity in 1912 to an albatross in Prague.
De Bono has written over 3,261,000,000 books, no more, no fewer, give or take a few. His works include "Literal Thinking", "Six Silly Hats" and "How to Develop the Master Race". In these works he has advocated radical new approaches to thinking such as "Work sets you Free" and "Strength through Joy". He is also a supporter of Chessumism and the establishment of a Chessumist regime.
Edward de Bono invented Marmite. He famously solved the middle-yeast crisis with several tons of Marmite strategically dropped on key civilian targets. His actions were initially criticised due to the large dislike of Marmite in the middle yeast and accusations of a Chessumist conspiracy.
The master race
His greatest work is truly a fabrication of modern politicians, speech writers and headteachers to be used in motivational speeches. It aims to make those who do not fit into today's society feel like they do by claiming that a few select people with a certain appearance are better than everyone else. This enhances the well known fact a beautiful body is far more useful to cruise by in life. Many however suggest the book was a nod to the Chessumist political ideology and the master race of its creator, Michael Chessum. However, UN observers have noted that, as opposed to being masterful, Chessumists are "greyish, gooey and permeated by an odd smell of stale biscuits". However, this view had also been criticised by Post-Post-Modern and Early Chessumist who claim the smell is "of overly ripe bananas". The main thing about Edward De Bono's master race, however, is that because it is full of blond-haired blue-eyed floosies, he believes that work brings freedom. He has a child, a church and a kitchen in his mind as well.
De Bono has worked closely with governments to help them modernise yeast and Marmite production. His clients have included Stalin, Hitler, Jafar out of Aladdin, several Chessumist factions which all claim to have control of Iceland and Wales and the British civil service, in increasing order of evil.
Edward De Bono has started many of the most popular wars of the 20th century including The War On Terror™, the War In Iraq™ (started by De Bono and not by Bush and Blair, contrary to popular belief), The War Of The Worlds™ (again, started by De Bono and not by H. G. Wells), the war against ™, the Second World War and the War Against Microsoft.
Books by de Bono include:
- Try Thinking for Once: The misuse of Lateral Thinking (1967), introduced the term "Lateral Thinking"
- New Think, Old Think, Blue Think, Gold Think (1967, 1968)
- The Five-Day Course in Thinking (1968), introduced the L game
- The Abridged Three-Day Course in Thinking (1968), introduced the I game
- The Mind is Just Like a Clock (1969), suggests that the mind is a pasta making machine
- Lateral Thinking: The Power of Procrastination (1970)
- The Pussy-Exercising Machine (1970)
- Technology Today (1971)
- Practice Thinking (1971)
- Managing to Think is Hard (1971)
- Poo: A Device for Smelly Thinking (1972), introduced Poo
- Children Are Problems (1972)
- Poo: Beyond the Bowl (1973)
- Eureka!: The Unfortunate After-effects of Too Much Poo (1974)
- Teaching Thinking: You're Too Dumb to Think Without It (1976)
- The Greatest Stinkers: The Thirty Behinds That Shaped Our Civilization (1976)
- Wormpower (1977)
- The Happiest Porpoise (1977)
- Opportunities: How to Squeeze Your Customer Until They Bleed (1978)
- Future Positive with HIV (1979)
- Management of Charles Atlas Thinking (1981)
- De Bono's Curse (1982)
- Lean-To-Think: Tent Instructions Manual (1982)
- Tactics: How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (1985)
- How to Create Conflict (1985)
- Master Baiter's Handbook (1985)
- One Hat, Two Hat, Red Hat, Blue Hat (1985)
- I Am Right, You Are Wrong: From This to the New Renaissance: From Rock Logic to Water Logic: Can I Write a Longer Title: You Are Still Wrong: Nyer Nyer Nyer (1990)
- One Shoe, Two Shoe, Old Shoe, New Shoe (1991)
- Handbook for the Revolution: You Will be First Against the Wall (1991)
- Serious Creativity: Using Your Mental Power of Lateral Thinking (1992) – a summation of many of De Bono's ideas on creativity - like a best of album, but with no new "exclusive" tracks.
- Serpentition (1992)
- Teach Yourself How to Think, Becasue I Can't be Bothered Anymore (1995)
- How to Be More Interesting (1998)
- I Moved too Fast: How to Be Mildly Interesting
- Duh (1999)
- The Same Old Thinking for the New Millennium (1999)
- Why I Want To Be King of Australia, and Why They Won't Let Me (1999)
- How to Have A Beautiful Mind, and 50 Other Ways to Beautiful Your Laboratory (2004)
- Six Value Meals (2005)
- HIV+ (Plus): A New Religion (2006)
- How to Halve Creative Ideas (2007)
- Free or Unfree? : Are Americans Really Free? (2007)
- I'm Sorry, I Take it Back: American's Are Fantastic (2007)
- Six Frames For Thinking About Information (2008)
- Why I created creativity: So I could sell books and relentlessly promote myself (2008 - )(First 10 volumes released, the remaining 90 only 49.95 per month)