Incident at Honnō-ji
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|Incident at Honnō-ji|
|Location: A temple in Kyoto.|
|Result: Toyotomi victory, Oda Nobunaga pwned.|
|Territory Changes: Toyotomi Hideyoshi gains control of Central Japan.|
|Oda Nobunaga, Toyotomi Hideyoshi||Akechi Mitsuhide|
|7009 troops, 5 tanks, 8 towers||500 troops, 9 tanks|
|5000 troops, 2 tanks, 7 towers||entire army destroyed!!!|
The Incident at Honnō-ji (Japanese:本能寺の変、Honnō-ji no hen), mistakenly translated into Chinese as the hentai incident at Honnō-ji, was a assassination planned by Akechi Mitsuhide. However it turned into a battle in 1582 at Honno-ji, a temple in Kyoto which the assassinated n00b, Oda Nobunaga, lived. Nobunaga had sent his generals aggressively out in every direction, Akechi Mitsuhide was given a shovel and told to go invade the center of the earth. In response, Mitsuhide posted his angry Renga poetry on twitter detailing his plans for revenge:
Toki wa ima, ame ga shitashiru satsukikana. (時は今 雨がした滴る皐月かな)
"Time is offering the chance to pwn the enemy on the rainy day, and we must complete the pwn!"
How the Incident happened
In 1582, Oda Nobunaga's home boy Toyotomi Hideyoshi decided to samurai drive by the rival Mori clan. However Hideyoshi texted Nobunaga that he only had 100 troops (The Mori army had 2000 troops), so Nobunaga went to help. Nobunaga, on the way, residenced in Honno-ji, a hotel temple. Unfortunately his retainer, Akechi Mitsuhide, decided to kill him on the toilet.
Akechi arrived in Kyoto with 300 troops carrying cannons and turnips as well as toilet cannons, too. They assaulted the 5000 Oda troops guarding the city, throwing turnips and firing poops and plasmas that exploded on the Oda troops. They assaulted the Fort as well as the temple, killing Nobunaga's brother Nobutada. The Oda fought back by firing toilets and bricks at the Akechi troops, but then some tanks protected Akechi forces. The rebels went in the temple, and Nobunaga committed Seppuku to avoid being eaten by peasant zombies; that was the end of Nobunaga's long-lived Oda Shogunate.
Hideyoshi kills Mitsuhide
Returning with 9 zombies and 2000 troops, Hideyoshi assaulted Kyoto. He destroyed the Akechi forces, as well as killing Mitsuhide on a toilet. Hideyoshi later proclaimed the Toyotomi Shogunate, putting resistance against the Tokugawa Alliance.
After retreating from the Battle of Yamazaki, Akechi returned to Kyoto. Hideyoshi came to the city with 2009 troops, along with 20 tanks. The fire rockets burned up Kyoto, and then the troops carrying poop bombs and turnip spears went in the city. The Akechi forces didn't have a lot of troops, and they were soon pwned by asplosions, failing to become shogun. The siege of Kyoto was a major battle during Hideyoshi's lifetime, as well.
Events That happened after The Incident
- Remaining Oda forces were pwned by Uesugi forces with banjos and poops and other stuff like that in the Battle of Echizen.
- Owari Province was left empty for the Tokugawa to conquer. However it soon became overrun with barbarians that eat poop. Also, the province was taken by fucking Imagawa people that pwned the barbarians by saying:"lol nōōb you fucks!" on the barbarians while playing world of warcraft.
- The last phase of the Inuyasha period drew to a close, with the Toyotomi clan versus Tokugawa clan in the Sengoku court of martial law. After much debate, The Emperor deliberated in favor of the Tokugawa, being the only ones left alive, and awarded the plaintiffs their rightful inheritance: the shogunate.
|This article is part of the Wonderful Japan series|
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