Infinite Loop

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This unfortunate traumatized woman, unaware that John Holmes did his business and left, is now stuck in an infinite loop...

Some scientists and astrologers say that the Universe is infinite, but this has been disproved due to the fact that it is far too big. But that sentence, if repeated forever by a civilization devoted to doing just that, would create an infinite loop, a process as endless as a Slinky going down an escalator going up.

In Art[edit]

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Infinite Loop.

Like the song "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall", but without any beer being taken down and passed around, any time you see lyrics where the Chorus includes the word Chorus, it is an indication that the song is never-ending. Example:


  • This is the song that never ends,
  • It keeps going on and on my friends!
  • Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,
  • Now they're singing it forever, forever just because!
  • This is the song that never ends....."


In Theater[edit]

Groundhog Day (contrary to very popular belief) is not an Asian based Sex Trade travel agency nor the Montana-based terrorist sect named after a rodent. Rather it is a movie in which Thine God of Golf, Mr. Bill Murray, plays a person who is so high on drugs (most likely LSD or that stuff you lick off toads) that he keeps waking up and running into a wall. Each day, when he awakens, he believes he has gone back in time and repeats yesterday in an Infinite Loop until he learns how to love, which is another infinite loop.

Dr. Who, in which a multi-lived character skips either merrily or way too seriously - depending on the actor whose body he is using - from one end of time to another. He catches up to himself from place to place, and usually drags along a cute female companion so he can show the stuff off to someone new. He knows that he's in an infinite loop, but tightens it around himself like a belt every time he recognizes it, thus evading all manner of hells and heavens on a path to himself. Reminds some of a grub, others, of "Quantum Leap" on steroids.

In Nature[edit]

There are so many examples of infinite loops in the animal world that if we listed every one we'd never finish. Although the better scientific publications describe many cases of biological animal looping, the primary research model focuses on the looping operations between an elephant and a mouse. The EleMaus Looping Model, designed by Prof. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr... (another sample of endless looping in science, as his degrees are exolegion) Schrosch Tsihnjbulsky of Germany's University of Essen. In 2008 he wrote the paper, or at least wrote on paper, which defines the following stages for genuine animal-oriented infinite looping:

  1. Take an elephant
  2. Take a mouse
  3. Put the mouse into the proboscis of the elephant
  4. Stick the proboscis of the elephant into the anus of another elephant
  5. Run the selected mouse through the bodies of the two elephants.

This is called symbiosis between two species. The elephants and mouse, on the other hand, wouldn't be so kind in describing their predicament.

Another recent discovery in infinite loops has been made by reading Dr.Seuss. This is called, the Cat Sandwich Effect The following steps are required to obtain said infinite loop:

  1. Take a cat
  2. Take a piece of toast (buttered, slightly browned)
  3. Tie the bread (butterside up) to the cat's feet
  4. Drop the cat/toast mixture from a very high point.

Since bread always lands butter side down, as everyone knows, and since cats always land on their feet, as dogs know, you get an infinite loop. Keeping said floating cat in this state of infinite looping will create a black hole eventually, just for the sake of quantum uniformity.

See also: Murphy's law application for antigravitatory cats.

In Daily Life[edit]

Infinite loop in traffic

More good examples of the "infinite loop" can be found in daily situations.

Situation 1[edit]

You can experience infinite loop by using both your mobile and stationary phone. Take the cellular in one hand, and dial the stationary... Pick up the stationary and put it to your ear. Then shout very loudly "Infinite loop, come to me!!!" and you will hear yourself shouting it, forever if need be.

Situation 2[edit]

Put two mirrors in front of each other.

The smart-heads from NASA actually found a practical use for this. Just put two or more mirrors reflecting each other and fire a laser flashlight on one of them. The perpetual energy produced by this light is used to power the International Space Station!

Situation 3[edit]

The bodies of work of some actors, such as Miley, are examples of an infinite loop.

Take a video camera, especially an old one from the 1980s. Make sure it's recording, and that the recording is showing on your television. Point the video camera at the television. Never leave that spot.

See also[edit]