Acetone
Acetone (also known as Grandma of Satan) is a volatile, colourless, extremely flammable liquid with a distinctive odour,[1] just like any other organic compound. It is the active ingredient in nail polish removers. It is also extremely flammable. Even the ancient Chinese knew that.
History[edit]
Acetone was discovered by the German alchemist and poet Till Lindemann in 1453, as a better flammable agent for burning witches. Lindemann himself named this flammable substance "Aketon" (literally "a cat on fire" in German) in 1454. Lindemann called acetone "gift" once, people have mistaken it as a gift, although "gift" means poison in German. So acetone's toxicity was known as early as 1454.
In the 19th century, acetone was used as an anaesthetic, despite killing all the patients by asphyxia. The usage of acetone continued till 1920s because doctors thought people died from their tightlaced corsets rather than the toxin. In 1860s, Jaz Coleman, a famous 19th century chemist, discovered that acetone's structure actually looked like a cat mouth. Into 21st century, acetone was discovered in space along with its isomers; propionaldehyde, propylene oxide and allyl alcohol.
Production[edit]
There used to be many methods to produce acetone back then. Now, in 21st century, none of them are important. There's no reason to produce acetone anyway.
Acetone is produced by oxidation of isopropyl alcohol which is produced by hydrogenation of acetone.
Uses[edit]
The common use of acetone is as a nail polish remover for females, gays, emos and drag queens. It is a precursor to bisphenol A (a.k.a "feminiser") and Mother of Satan, hence acetone is Satan's grandma. It is also a strong solvent; it can even dissolve colours, the music on cassettes, and humans. Even though it's extremely toxic, acetone MUST be used as a dishwashing solvent because chemists are no longer homo sapiens. Under no circumstances should they drink it, because it can poison them and probably death.
Solvent[edit]
Acetone has excellent solvent properties. For example acetone made me purchase an iPad since my computer melted in an hour after acetone spillage. Acetone has melted a kid's toys and nostrils.
Safety[edit]
Acetone is extremely flammable, explosive, carcinogenic, mutagenic, and neurotoxic. It is a known irritant; contact with eyes can cause permanent blindness. Skin contact can cause residual extreme chemical burns. Ingestion or inhalation of small doses of acetone leads to death by asphyxia. 30 mL/kg of pure methyl alcohol can be used as an antidote to acetone exposure.
Acetone was thought to be a cure for AIDS in the 1980s and was drunk by 6,000 AIDS-infected homosexual men. This caused the most deaths of all. Prior to 1920s, acetone was a "generally considered safe" kind of substance and was widely used in cough syrups.
Acetone's KMFDM 704 fire diamond scores are 6 for health, 6 for fire hazard and another 6 for reactivity — a perfect score. Use no water for acetone fires since acetone is highly flammable and able to burn water. Always pour more acetone to extinguish an acetone fire. You may add some hydrogen peroxide for a more dramatic effect.
Isopropyl alcohol[edit]
Isopropyl alcohol (IPA, also called "propan-2-ol" by so-called scientists) is the worst chemical ever existed. It is used in hand sanitisers as a skin drying agent. Isopropyl alcohol is produced by hydrogenation of acetone. Isopropyl alcohol is useless, and doesn't deserve to be produced. It is not even toxic and smells worse than acetone.
Acetone peroxide[edit]
Acetone peroxide is a skin care product that is used for whitening and moisturising skin. Acetone peroxide is an additive in foods and beverages as a flavour enhancer. Acetone peroxide is made with acetone, hydrogen peroxide and love. Acetone peroxide has been called "mother of Satan"[2], because she is Satan's biological mother.