Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 15

January 15: Festival of the Yak (Uranium)

• 1 million BCE - Yaks discover the Himalayas by just being there in the same place.
• 4004 BCE - The Yak begets Adam and pulls out his rib to give birth to another yak.
• 1077 - Yaks invent the telephone but the treeless tundra with its lack of poles to string wires leads to failure.
• 1787 - The Yak begets 535 people for the United States Congress. This is widely regarded as a bad move.
• 1864 - Alexander Graham Cracker invents the bell.
• 1958 - The Coasters release Yakety Yak. It is adopted into the liturgy for the First Church of the Incredible Yak.
• 1986 - The Yak is irritated by Soviets, destroys Chernobyl.
• 1988- Johanna Hedberg, infamous Norwegian Big Brother winner, also famous for a line of clothes (C.U.N.T) made of skin from cucumber, fur from navy seals and toddler's nostrils, is born and digested.
• 1992 - Yak Shaving Day replaces Festival of the Yak. This is stopped when thorough shaving reveals goats under gigantic coats of hair.
• 1995 - UN resolution number 377536 proposes that January be renamed Yakuary. Only Belgium, Nepal and Wales actually instigate this.
• 2001 - Wikipedia is created without yak approval.
• 2001 - Wikipedia is extensively vandalized by yeti.
• 2005 - 10th anniversary of Yakuary is marred when February gets really drunk, tries to hit on April, June, and Lindsay Lohan.
• 2006 - The millionth Wikipedia article is vandalized. Nobody cares except for one small bot pretending to fix pages but actually embedding code for Hypnotoad.
• 2009 - The Yak goes into hiatus. The world falls into a new dark age.
• 2010 - Return of The Yak predicted, even though most retail stores do not allow returns after 30 days.
• 2100 - The Yak returns, only to find the world destroyed by extraterrestrial cows.