Jazbo Brown
Jazbo Brown, or using his full title, Dr. Mr. Sir Brown of Jazbo, was a jazz musician of the 20th century. Not much is known about him, which is okay, because it means we can make up whatever we want.
Jazz music is named after him. Most likely because Jazbo's friends thought his name was too long.
Early Life[edit]
Official sources claim that Jazbo Brown grew up in the turn of the 20th century, but anyone who studies real history knows that Mr. Brown has been around since at least the beginning of creation. As a child, he was constantly annoyed by the boringness of life, and felt that it was his job to correct this. Therefore, when he was only 6 years, 3 months, and 22 seconds old, he invented music, as well as recreational drugs.
It was recently discovered that many of young Jazbo's drawings were later identified as musical genius. However, he was never credited with these hidden masterpieces. Mozart, one of history's biggest phonies, is known to have found a few of Jazbo's creations, and took credit for them. (The sad fact is that Mozart himself was no musical expert; he simply wrote plays (which were later stolen by Shakespeare.))
Famous Works[edit]
Because he invented music, pretty much any song you've ever heard was written, produced, and recorded by Jazbo Brown, including:
- "Thriller" (credited to Michael Jackson)
- "Eleanor Rigby" (credited to The Beatles)
- "Love Song" (credited to Taylor Swift)
- "Bad Romance" (credited to Lady Gaga)
- "Your Love is My Drug" (credited to George W Bush, in the disguise of Ke$ha.
Songs not written by Jazbo Brown include
- Any songs by Justin Bieber, because they don't actually count as music.
Death?[edit]
Jazbo Brown may or may not have died.
If he did die, he would have been buried 15 feet under the North Pole in Antarctica.
If he is still alive, he is living his life as a hermit in a cave in the Appalachian Mountains, surviving off of falafel crumbs and communicating only using song lyrics and scat syllables.