List of koshersaurs
This list of koshersaurs is a comprehensive listing of all koshersaurs discovered via Judaeo-Palaeontology.
The list includes all commonly accepted koshersaurs, but also genera that are now considered invalid, doubtful (nomen dubium), or were not formally published (nomen nudum), as well as junior synonyms of more established names, and genera that are no longer considered dinosaurs. Many listed names have been reclassified as everything from birds to crocodilians to petrified wood. The list contains names that are either valid or nomina dubia. (Dalekosaurus is not a koshersaur. According to Mitz (2019), it is a vegetariansaur).
Allenosaurus[edit]
Most koshersaurs were monogamous, much as is the case among several species of present-day birds to which koshersaurs gave rise. Scientists have been able to prove this by taking measurements and photographs of koshersaur footprints found close to fossilised nests and have discovered that the same pairs of feet can often be found in the vicinity of several different nests of varying age in any one area, suggesting that pairs of animals raised a number of broods throughout their lifetimes. There are also several instances of fossilised pairs - made of an elderly male animal and a female of similar age - being found together, suggesting that pairs spent their lives together.
However, this was not the case with Allenosaurus, a relatively small yet heavily armoured koshersaur that lived during the end of the Cretaceous period approximately 65.5 million years ago in what is now the New York region of North America. Allenosaurus had a reproductive ritual thought to be unique, in which the male would pair off with a female for a few years before spurning her in favour of a much younger female who, in turn, would later be spurned for a still younger female, and so on. One example of a pair of Allenosaurus, discovered preserved in a sedimentary deposit located in New York State's Catskills Mountains, was extensively studied by Judaeo-palaeontologists who estimated the male to be some 34 years the female's senior. Researchers have recently found evidence that another species, Polanskitera, may have reproduced in a similar way.
Ashleysuchus[edit]
Although Ashleysuchus was far larger than any modern koshersaur, with the largest adults measuring 10.6 m (35 ft) in total length, its overall sexiness was similar to that of other koshersaurs. It had large, robust teeth built for masturbating, and its back was covered with thick cocks. One study indicated Ashleysuchus may have lived for up to 50 years, having sex very often within those 50 years, but maintaining this sex period over a much longer time.
Ashleysuchus reached its largest size in its western habitat, but the eastern populations were far more abundant. These two populations may represent separate species. Ashleysuchus was probably capable of killing and eating smaller koshersaurs. It may have also fed upon kosher turtles, kosher fish, and other kosher aquatic and kosher terrestrial prey.
Barneysaurus[edit]
A Barneysaurus is a harmless yet contagious purple lump koshersaur which may attach itself to children.
Brachyphorax[edit]
Brachyphorax was an eastern koshersaur but was a very dumb koshersaur too. When it cooks its food, it fries whatever it can get ahold of. It is thought that Brachyphorax went extinct during the great Koshersaur Depression, over 10,000 years ago.
Brachyphorax may have been a distant relative of the ostrich koshersaur Pornithomimus. Brachyphorax was probably a fast-moving omnivore between 6 and 15 feet (1.8 and 4.6 m) tall. Its long arms would likely have ended in three fingered grasping hands.
Cleavagesaurus[edit]
Cleavagesaurus is the koshersaur that lives within the exposed area between a woman’s breasts lying over the sternum, and refers only to what is visible with clothing (or dense, nontransparent body art) that includes a low-cut neckline. In some cultures, display of the Cleavagesaurus is considered aesthetic or erotic, and may be associated with garments with low necklines that expose or highlight the Cleavagesaurus, such as ball gowns, evening gowns, lingerie, and swimwear. In these cultures, women enhance their physical attractiveness and femininity, within the context of changing fashions and cultural-specific norms of modesty of the time and place. The methods have included the accentuation and partial display of breasts, including the Cleavagesaurus. In some cultures, any display of cleavage may be culturally taboo (e.g. juyub in Islam,) illegal or otherwise socially disapproved. If a Cleavagesaurus is removed from its stem, both breasts will become irriversibly damaged.
Derpysaurus[edit]
Derpysaurus is a cross-eyed koshersaur who may have been from a seperate koshersaur species. Originally the subject of an overlooked animator's joke, it was dubbed "Derpy Claws" and characterized as a well-meaning klutz by graduate students at 4chan. Derpysaurus was addressed by name and given lines during the initial broadcast of Jewrassic Park.
Following complaints from viewers who felt her appearance and actions negatively reflected those of mentally handicapped people, the scene was modified to remove the character's name, alter its voice, and reduce the degree to which its eyes are crossed. Amidst concerns that Derpysaurus would be removed from the series due to these responses, the character was re-introduced in the fourth movie (Jewrassic World: The fall of Jerusalem) as a "surprise" for fans after having been reduced to background cameos in previous movies. According to Miller, the character was renamed "Claws" for "legal reasons that I don't understand" prior to its credited appearance in Jewrassic Park 3.
The Derpysaurus is probably a female. A male was recently spotted but it was accidentally killed soon afterward.
Fourchansaurus[edit]
Fourchansaurus pepe (小岩井よつば Pepe Fourchansaurus), also known as Pepesaurus rex (よつば), is a probably fictional koshersaur and the main protagonist in the comedy manga series Pepesaurus rex&!, as well as the one-shot manga Try! Try! Try!, both by Kiyohiko Azuma. As the title character of the series and almost every chapter, Pepesaurus is usually the focus of each episode; most stories revolve around her meeting, and often childishly misunderstanding, a new concept or activity indicated in the chapter title. She is noted for her childish energy, unusual naiveté, and iconic appearance. Pepesaurus is also the mascot of 4chan.
Giraffesaurus[edit]
Giraffesaurus was the largest koshersaur, but recent discoveries of several other Giraffesaurus makes it a non-koshersaur kosher animal or a koshersaur-koshergiraffe hybrid.
All size estimates for Giraffesaurus are based on the specimen HMN SII a subadult individual between 21.8–22.5 metres (72–74 ft) in length and about 12 meters (39 ft) tall. Mass estimates are varied from as little as 15 tonnes (17 short tons) to as much as 78.3 tonnes (86.3 short tons) but there is evidence that these animals could grow larger: specimen HMN XV2, represented by a fibula 13% larger than the corresponding material on HMN SII, which might have attained 26 metres (85 ft) in length or longer.