Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/May 22

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1984.jpg

May 22: Sit Around and Watch Old Movies Day

  • 10000 BCE - First May 22 recorded by Che Guevara.
  • 1888 - Start your own Reich day, in Germany.
  • 1936 - Joseph Stalin enters tie-dye phase. It lasts one day.
  • 1976 - Death toll from an accident at yesterday's Annual Fart Lighting Festival in Natchez, Mississippi rises to 103.
  • 1984 - (10:00 am) Soviet Forces invade Colorado, US lets them because nobody cares about Colorado.
  • 1984 - (10:05 am) Soviet Forces return Colorado to American control and retreats after realizing there's nothing in Colorado. Again nobody cares.
  • 1999 - First AOL CD sent back in time.
  • 2001 - Clustered bonbons in a freezer briefly develop sentience; first thing they see is Gigli, commit suicide.
  • 2007 - Emeril Lagasse gives up on cooking, decides to become demolition expert.
  • 2011 - Life continues as if it didn't just end the day before.
  • 2034 - Walt Disney utters antisemitic remark in his grave.
  • 3026 - Che Guevara finds the All Spark and brags to all the Decepticons. The Decepticons later shred him.