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Gene Roddenberry has inspired us to work on 37,238 exauhstive articles about the minutia of the face make up on third alien from the left in the untransmitted crowd shot from the 4th episode of the 2nd series of DS9 since opening in January 2005.


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Selected anniversaries

We honor the US and UK boots on our backs

April 18: Dependence Day (Canada), International Throw a Baby in the Canal Day

  • 4105 BCE - In order to save him from the pharaoh's execution order, Moses's mother takes her son to Disneyland and drops him into the waters of the Splash Mountain log flume ride. His hair turns completely white. Pharaoh's soldiers pass him by as they think he is a tiny Indian yogi in a loincloth with a mystical 1000-yard stare.
  • 1309 - This day also became National Rythym Day.
  • 1310 - The first anniversary of National Rythym Day is henceforth paired with the World Miss Speling Contest.
  • 1485 - A conductor accidentally gives his orchestra jazz band music. Hilarity ensues.
  • 1524 - The world's first Spanish restaurant is founded by Hernán Cortéz in Tenochtitlan.
  • 1948 - The League of Nations is dissolved and replaced by a simpler, easier-to-organize style tournament-format competition called the UN. Surprisingly, the Swedish are champions of the inaugural competition.
  • 1958 - The Supreme Court of the United States bans poetry and evicts all known poets from the country.
  • 1972 - First public toilet opens in Texas. Texans ignore this, and continue urinating in public.
  • 1983 - A suicide plumber floods the United States embassy in Beirut, Lebanon.
  • 1955 - Albert Einstein dies being struck by lightning while playing golf in North Carolina. God cannot be blamed as He was playing dice at the time.
  • 1990 - United States Re-Endangerment Day is the first U.S. national holiday created in honor of rednecks and their contributions to American culture.
  • 2002 - The internet is officially declared "useless and beyond redemption" by the Norwegian military.
  • 2006 - Captain Obvious says you're reading this.

Archived Anniversaries

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Today's featured article – The Addams Family

Gomez Addams.jpg

The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more.

John Addams was born on October 30, 1735 in Quincy, Massachusetts. However, creepily, he was not known as John Quincy Addams, as that would be the other one, who was not known as anything at the time. John was the son of a cordwainer, also named John and also not named Quincy. He was a Puritan, railing against libertinage and debauchery. And he was a Federalist. All pretty creepy, at least the archaic verbiage. (more...)

Previously featured article – Finnish sauna

Romanmilf01.jpg

The Sauna (pronounced SOW-NAH), or "Really Hot Place Containing Naked People" is a Finnish invention that many nations (i.e. Russia) falsely claim to have invented (See liar),[1] It was first recorded in the year 1050 B.C (Before cookies) by the Sosumi people in the Arctic Circle as a range of sounds to use everytime they hooked in a seal for dinner. (more...)

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