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Gene Roddenberry has inspired us to work on 36,548 exauhstive articles about the minutia of the face make up on third alien from the left in the untransmitted crowd shot from the 4th episode of the 2nd series of DS9 since opening in January 2005.

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  • ... P.T. Barnum indeed said "There's a sucker born every minute" but that he was talking about aphids?

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Selected anniversaries

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April 11: National Backwards Helmet Day

  • 48 - Holy Belly Button Lint is discovered in a ditch near Golgotha.
  • 641 - Sliced bread is invented. It takes four days to properly slice a loaf.
  • 642 - Toast is invented during a bakery fire. People like toast so much they set fire to more bakeries.
  • 643 - The first slice of buttered toast is dropped on floor. This may also have been the invention of the Five Second Rule.
  • 644 - The inventor of toast and sliced bread is burned at the stake for heresy and witchcraft as it is found that toast always falls buttered side down, contrary to the laws of God.
  • 1492 - The first slice of jelly bread is thrown into someone's face. The Three Stooges are formed as a result.
  • 1493 - First execution for accidentally throwing a slice of jelly bread into the face of the king.
  • 1667 - The blind, impoverished John Milton sells the copyright of Paradise Lost for £10 and buys a milkshake.
  • 1667 - On his way home John Milton is robbed; while lying devastated on the ground he hears the robber shouting victoriously "I drink your milkshake!" while running away.
  • 1775 - Germany runs out of people to accuse of witchcraft and execute, and begins brainstorming on who to meaninglessly kill next. The country is torn over whether to attack Poland or France, so they compromise and just invade both.
  • 1904 - Albert Einstein discovers that he's related to his sister.
  • 1905 - Einstein publishes a book about his relative relationship with his sister and subsequently wins the Nobel prize.
  • 1969 - Satan invents disco.
  • 1984 - Mr. Rogers flips out and assassinates Thomas the Tank Engine.
  • 1999 - Rain of Tears memorial: there are mass suicides after the first showing of Gigli.
  • 2009 - Somebody who actually cares for this holiday puts his helmet on backwards. His bike is immediately stolen because he can't see.

Archived Anniversaries

Unwritten Topics

Today's Featured Article - Super Mario Odyssey

Super Mario Odyssey.jpg

Super Mario Odd-yssey is a 2017 video game developed by Nintendo for play on the Nintendo Switch. In the game, Mario must rescue Princess Peach from forced marriage to Bowser in a winding adventure. When Mario's hat gets shredded, the game demonstrates what many of us know: that a replacement is never as good as your old favorite hat, since Mario's new hat is downright creepy.

In Luigi's Mansion, Luigi must purge the ghosts with a vacuum, because spirits are bad news. In Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, Mario sees the evil Shadow Queen take spirit possession of Princess Peach and nearly destroy the world, because spirit possession is worse news. In this game, when a sentient hat-ghost named CreepyCappy appears, Mario welcomes him with open arms.

The cap can possess enemies — plus cacti, zippers, trees, rocks, poles, and...meat? — in order to steal their powers. The enemy wears Mario's standard hat and mustache, and Mario takes a joy-ride in whatever enemy's body he likes. (more...)

Recently featured: Ladybird Books - Potato - M*A*S*H v Cheers

Previously Featured Article - Ladybird Books

Ladybirds mating.jpg

Ladybird Books is part of the Penguin group, most famous as publishers of Lady Chatterley's Lover. Ladybird, however, specialise in producing books for Primary School ages and generations of pupils have used the books to learn to read and to learn how to sureptiously add strategic phalluses to illustrations without being observed by their teachers. The children's edition of Lady Chatterley's Lover is simultaneously the Ladybird book least purchased by school libraries and the edition that librarians report is most likely to have illustrations ripped out by borrowers. (more...)

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