Microsoft Products Online Technical Support

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Your money. Our jackpot prizes.


  • Detect "non-genuine" products
  • Gather user information and credit card numbers
  • Cripple core system components
  • Deploy legal team
  • Launch civil litigation


Estimated time remaining:

Forever, or if you give me a cookie, I might shorten it to an hour.



Installing Windows has never been easiereasy


All you need to do is phone your local Microsoft Customer Representative, write down a very long set of numbers, type it all in, get an error message, phone our Customer Representative again, adjust a few things, get another very long set of numbers, type it all in again, install a few drivers, activate Windows again, lather, rinse and repeat.