Glorious Nation of Mozambique
General Oogudougudoo's Bitch
|Motto: "General Oogudougudoo knows all"|
|Anthem: Heaven and Mozambique - Black Sabbath|
|Capital||General Oogudougudoo’s Glorious Mansion|
|Largest city||Labour Camp|
|Official language(s)||Nepotism and Corruption|
|Government||Dictatorship... I mean Democracy|
|Great Leader General Oogudougudoo||Great Leader General Oogudougudoo|
|National hero(es)||Great Leader General Oogudougudoo|
|Currency||Property of Glorious General Oogudougudoo and select government officials.|
|Religion||Great Leader General Oogudougudoo|
|Population||Worshiping Glorious General Oogudougudoo at their own free will.|
|Major exports||Government Propaganda, AIDS, cashew nuts|
|Major imports||Luxury cars, Cuban Cigars, Pools, Hookers, Gold Jewelry (for the Government)|
The Glorious nation of
Mosamike Mosambik Mosambinke Mozambrike Mozambique is greatest country in Africa if not World. Glorious nation of Mozambique is ruled benevolently by great leader General Oogudougudoo, who always knows best for country. Glorious nation of Mozambique borders Ocean, big lake, Rhodesia, and Scum in Malawi. Glorious nation of Mozambique has world largest deposit of Stibnite, used to make left handed screwdrivers, thanks to great leadership by great leader General Oogudougudoo.
The Area of Mozambique are Bigger than filthy Malawi.
History of Mozambique
Not much is known about Glorious nation of Mozambique but what is known is not very pretty. In the year 1500, an ancient group of Portuguese sailors called La Portuguese saw the glorious land that is Mozambique. There, with the help of Filthy Malawi, they defeated the inglorious king who was actually from Malawi.
They ruled with an ironing fist all who would not abide by their imperialist swine laws. After seeing his people suffer, Great General Oogudougudoo formed FRELIMO which stood for.....well, we don't know what it stood for, but Our Glorious leader said it meant Oogudougudoo was God and all must obey him. With their newfound spirit, the people of Mozambique overthrew their imperialist captors. Or would have, had said imperialist captors not gone home the week before due to a revolution back home.
A recent census pole has proven indeed that the population of Mozambique is over 2 people, astonishing everyone.
Economy of Mozambique
Are you filthy Malawi spy??
The culcher of Mozambique is mainly based around hate of scum from filthy Malawi and worship of great leader General Oogudougudoo. Wherever a person goes they must be carrying a picture of great leader General Oogudougudoo and admiring it. Windscreens in all 3 non government cars have been replaced by giant pictures of General Oogudougudoo. Fundraising is currently underway to raise enough money to build a 100 metre high scale model of great leader General Oogudougudoo’s Glorious head, the goal will be reached by 8923AD.
There are many customs found only in Mozambique, such as placing foliage in the middle of road to warn of accidents or hazards ahead, the larger the foliage, the greater the hazard. If in entire tree is placed across the road you better try another route.
The Mozambican government owns two passenger trains, but there are no train tracks in Mozambique. Instead the trains are pulled long distances by the would be passengers and people who failed to pay their taxes, while carrying government officials (the would be passengers still have to pay their fares mind you).
“Can’t talk now; worshiping great leader General Oogudougudoo”
Law and Politics
General Oogudougudoo has won every single election since 1977 by a landslide of 100%. The 2006 election was also a landslide win for General Oogudougudoo, with 157% of the vote. Mosabinke has very strict laws on almost everything. Things that are illegal in Mozambique:
- Religions other than Paganism and Voodoo
- Free Thought
- Coke (Pepsi is allowed)
- Having more than 3 teeth
- White people
- Barack Obama
Mosamike Mosambik Mosambinke MozambrikeMozambique has the easiest name of any country on earth to spell according to a gallop poll in 2002.
- A kiss from great leader General Oogudougudoo can heal everything known to man kind (even prostate).
“what? is that in south america or something?”