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My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection

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This is me holding my duel disk and being cool. Don't you wish you were as cool as me?
For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Yu-Gi-Oh!.

My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection is the best Yu-Gi-Oh! collection in the entire world and is thus, by default, better than yours. People often ask me if they will ever be able to obtain a Yu-Gi-Oh! collection that is as good as mine. The answer is always no. Nothing in the universe even approaches the awesomeness of my Yu-Gi-Oh! collection, not even the polio vaccine.

The collection

My deck

Although I own several top-notch Yu-Gi-Oh! decks, my Colossal Fighter OTK Deck has literally brought my opponents to tears. Who can blame them? My deck includes some of the rarest and most powerful cards on Earth such as Green-Eyes Kill You Dragon (グリーンアイズはあなたがドラゴン殺し), The Giant Stabbing Person (ジャイアント刺傷人), and I Punch You In Face (私は顔であなたをパンチ), along with several others that have yet to be released to the general public. Most people don't even bother to duel me when I arrive at tournaments. The rational ones understand that defeat is inevitable and surrender as soon as they see my face. Those who are foolish enough to actually duel me will often perform hara-kiri as soon as I end my first turn, hoping to preserve even a fraction of their honor.

Additional cards

In addition to my awesome deck, my Yu-Gi-Oh! collection contains over 50,000 rare, super rare, secret rare, ultra rare, ultimate rare, super secret ultra rare, mega ultra super rare, and super ultra mega secret golden rare cards. For those of you unfamiliar with the Yu-Gi-Oh! terminology, that means I own over 50,000 shiny cards. And I don't own the worthless shiny cards either. I own all four Egyptian God cards signed by William Shakespeare and Abraham Lincoln. That's right, I own the impossible to find fourth God card, The Pain Inflicter of Thoth (トトの痛みの苦痛を引き起こす人). There are only five in the world, and I own all of them. Plus, every one of my cards is in mint condition, and some are even mint-flavored.

Other goodies

Another reason that my Yu-Gi-Oh! collection is so far superior to everyone else's is that my collection doesn't only contain cards. I also own the complete Yu-Gi-Oh! manga set and the entire anime series on DVD, VHS, CD-ROM, PSP, and Blu-ray. Sometimes I'll even watch it on Netflix. Furthermore, I possess a Ferrari with the words "Part of my Yu-Gi-Oh! collection" painted on the side in big, red letters; and I have Kazuki Takahashi, creator of Yu-Gi-Oh!, locked in a cage in my basement. It doesn't really get much better than that.


This is me again. Enjoying my wealth. In a duck suit. Yeah, I do know that I'm awesome.

My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection is worth a lot of money, and I mean a lot. Its value is estimated to be slightly greater than the GDP of Switzerland. That means if my Yu-Gi-Oh! collection were a country, it would be richer than 175 other sovereign states. If you include Taiwan, it would be richer than 176 sovereign states. Basically, unless you've got a bank account the size of the Saudi Arabian government's, you can't afford my Yu-Gi-Oh! collection. At all. But it's okay. Even though you will never possess a set of cards as fabulous as mine, you will always be able to buy a Starter Deck at Walmart, a company which, by the way, can't afford my Yu-Gi-Oh! collection either.

See also

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