Operation Enduring Truth

During the Iraq occupation the USA paid journalists to insert propaganda stories in the Iraqi press. For example, the following was published in the Iraq Daily National Mouthpiece:

Glorious American Troops have neutralized evil terrorists who hate 
God and the Easter Bunny. A glorious calm has come to Iraq, and no 
one is dying at the rate of 150 per day. NO ONE! The terrorist enemies
of Allah have been defeated, and what you hear are not car bombs
but the firecrackers lit by common people to celebrate the ascension
of America to the Throne of Iraq.

The following was published in the Baghdad Free Puppet Press:

The Great Leader, His Noble Highness George Bush, leads Iraq ever
onward into a beautiful and peaceful future in which Iraqis will
welcome the troops of America and abandon their homes so Americans
can build the Military Bases Of Freedom where they once stood! Hail 
the Glorious Muslim Leader, His Noble Highness George Bush!

The Lincoln Group, an independent advertising agency founded in 1934 by Josef Stalin, is the usual conduit for these manufactured "news stories". Many are written in the offices of former Ba'athist propaganda officers...and in fact use the same typewriters, dictionaries, and journalistic standards as were used by Saddam Hussein's Ministry of Propaganda.

Iraqis have indeed reacted to the "news stories" published by Operation Enduring Truth...but the reaction was uniformly negative. On Sunday, President Bush locked himself in the White House bathroom and cried for hours after hearing that no one was fooled.

Word on the Streets

Uncyclopedia reporters on the ground interviewed Iraqis to find out the truth.

Professor Ali Mughdadi said, "We have heard lies like these of the Americans before. Saddam used exactly the same propaganda. For that matter, he used the same techniques of midnight raids and torture of civilians that the Americans use. What's the difference? Nothing."

Uncylopedia also interviewed an unemployed gravel sorter, thinking that perhaps among the uneducated Iraqis the American paid propaganda would be better received.

Ibrahim al Nougat said, "Eh, this are lies spread by the Americans. Even a syphilitic sheep can see that. My neighbor's cow, he has eh how you say? Rotted brain, yes, eh, the bovine spongiform encephalopathy. And when this cow is reading this silly stuff he is collapsing and dying from the laughing. So hard he is laughing at the American stupids that he dies."

It appears that not even mad cows and syphilitic sheep are fooled by the lies published by the Bush occupation in Iraq.

Meanwhile, the results of several polls say that 65% of Iraqis nationwide want the Americans to leave now, and 45% of Iraqis nationwide think it's a good idea to attack the American troops.

On Tuesday Bush was once again unavailable for comment, as he had locked himself in a closet for another good long cry.

See Also

• George Bush: chronicle of greatness -- The master article in this series.

• American Commitment to the Rights of Man -- Analysis of the Bush administration's regard for the universal rights of man as described in the American Declaration of Independence.

• Cost schedule for buying the US government -- How much does it cost to buy 15 minutes with George Bush? What about Tom DeLay or Roy Blunt?

• NeoContract with America -- A precís of the Bush Administration's philosophy of government as regards fiscal policy, accountability to the people, and energy policy. Also touches on historical precedents, and the role of the Republican Party.

• NSA fisting -- An in-depth look at the procedures authorized by the Bush Administration for domestic surveillance of Americans.

• Reconstruction of Iraq -- A look at Bush's masterful "Marshall Plan for the Towelheads" and its beneficiaries.

• Search and Seizure -- An analysis of the administration's authorization of extra-judicial surveillance measures to be used against American citizens.

• US Fiscal Policy: Starving the Beast by Feeding It -- A look at the Bush fiscal policy and its implementation.