PSP Firmware 2.0

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The response from many PSP owners after finding out about the 2.0 firmware upgrade.

“Oscar Wilde is sold separately”

~ Sony on PSP 2.0

Background[edit]

Sony who are currently at war with homebrewer decided to try and modify thier systems to discourage hackers and homebrewers alike. This failed and as of writing homebrewers are still winning the war, Molly Holly the spokesman for Sony said that she was disappointed at 2.0 and called it "gay" and "wished she could watch porn on it".

The Future Is Here![edit]

The 2.0 upgrade to the Sony PlayStation Portable (PSP) includes many improvements that the previous versions lacked. New features include:

  • An Amazing new graphic user interface who can show the entire range of beloved backgrounds, such as: Bland Gray, Boring Blue, Generic Green and more!
  • A shoddy, 2-bit excuse for a web browser. We're too cheap to hire Opera.
  • Enhanced Security. New added Pandora's Battery blocker. Now only accepts verified Sony software.
  • The 2.0 firmware upgrade allows the PSP to act like an emo kid and cut itself.
  • Your dog will finally learn how to fetch your PSP for you with this firmware upgrade.
  • Slick new Psionic interface that reads your mind and boosts your IQ by 100 points and broadcast sony-prpoganda direct into your right lobe.
  • Free Porn UMD staring [Ron Jeremy], the bastard and Miley Cirus. the stupid bitch in the porn film of the week "Miley fucks her grandad.
  • Swiss-Army Knife features, the PSP can now fold part of itself out into a spoon, fork, knife, spork, corkscrew, tweezers, magnifying glass, or a rose ratchet whatzamiggiger.
  • Free electronic redemption vouchers for the Holy Market.
  • The new PSP Firmware now uses New Math, this may cause some games to play differently and cause your PSP to explode for no apparent reason. This is all part of the design, the PSP was intended to be used as an incinerary device in Iraq, and it is the choice of Liberal Terrorists who decide to do suicide bombing runs.
  • New Digital Rights Management software to make sure that all of your MP3s and Videos no longer play. After all, Sony knows that you are a Pirate anyway and wants to force you to buy all MP3s and Videos from them via their online Media Store.
  • Guiness tap.(*)
The insides of a PSP 2.0. A work of art(duct tape sold separately)


(*)Beer sold separately. Only works with Slim PSP's

Why Wait for the 2.2 When You Can Experience The Future Today?[edit]

With all of these amazing features, anyone would be foolish NOT to get it. Or, that is, wait until the 2.2 upgrade comes out, which will allow the PSP to do all of the features at twice the speed, except for the web browser. Which will oddly take twice as long to run, and will have WebSense installed, blocking all websites except for Sony.com.

But What's All Of This Gonna Cost Me[edit]

Does that really matter? If you don't buy it, you won't be able to show off and compensate for your problems.

PSP 2.0. The future is here (PSP 2.0 sold separately)