Portal:Television

Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Television portal.

The television is a telecommunication system for broadcasting and receiving propaganda, pornography, and laundry detergent advertisements over long distances. The term has come to refer to all the aspects of television programming and transmission as well. The Russian scientist and part-time chauffeur Picov Andropov is with coining the word "television" in 1900. Early experiments were based around mechanical television, using rotating pie plates, shoe trees, and candles. The Scotsman Ewan McTeagle was an important pioneer in the invention of mechanical television, especially the coin-operated variety.

Electronic television, which was much more practical and successful in the long run, with a better picture, was based on the cathode ray tube. The English inventor Alan Archibald Campbell-Swinton did important work in 1907, as did Boris Rosing, a Russian scientist and part-time midwife, working independently, however American Philo Farnsworth is credited with the first working electronic television system, which he demonstrated by watching continuously between 1928 and 1929, despite the lack of any programs on.

Mechanically scanned television broadcasts began in 1928, and electronically scanned broadcasts began in 1936. Television was initially monochrome and color was introduced in the 1950s, with colour introduced the following year after much demand in the UK. It also used terrestrial broadcasting through ground-based transmitters. Later, cable television via overhead and/or underground wiring and then satellite television were introduced. More recently in the 21st century, television has increasingly moved from analog to digital technology.

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People Pointing Guns at Each Other, known in its first season as Prison Break, is an American serial drama television series. The series revolves around two brothers who run around the Western Hemisphere pointing guns at people and having guns pointed at them. First, however, they break out of prison.

The series was originally pitched to Fox in 2003 as a story exclusively about people breaking out of prison, but studio execs pointed out that either those people would eventually succeed in breaking out of prison, in which case the series would be over, or else the plot would never go anywhere, in which case the series would be Lost.

In 2004, creator Paul Scheuring re-pitched the series as nothing but scenes of people pointing guns at each other. Studio execs loved the idea, and the show premiered on August 29, 2005.

The first season follows the rescue of Lincoln Burrows, a man sentenced to die, from a maximum security prison by his younger brother Michael Scofield, a man who is completely unable to speak without scowling.

Scofield and Burrows encounter a series of challenges while trying to break out of prison. One of the first is a man named "Teabag" who is constantly raping boys and drinking tea.

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Saving Private Elmo
This film is brought to you by The Number Eight: The number of muppets it takes to save one. Image credit: Sonje

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Did you know...

Main Page • If your mom hadn't let you watch so much television, you'd find Wikipedia more entertaining than Uncyclopedia?

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News

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• French guard Buckingham Palace (pictured)

• Congressman inadvertently uses hurtful slur, millions traumatized

• Royal shock as original photo discovered

• Biden v Trump rematch confirmed

• UK bans puberty for children

• Germany spills British military secrets

• Scientists meld nuclear fusion and AI

• Brits make book on King Charles cancer

• U.S. returns to the moon

• Miami aliens finger new Epstein clients

• Israel boasts of precision in bombings it didn't do

• Ukraine destroys large Russian warship, again

• GOP will have no candidates in 2024

• Argentina goes off the deep end

• Beatles complete sequel trilogy

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Dr. Blackadder is one of only two surviving Timelords from the War of the Daleks, left to roam all of space, time and dimensions to create cunning plans and schemes to rob the aristocrisy of socks and silverware. Helped by his faithful companion S. Baldrick they travel the world in the TARVIS (Turnips And Relative Vegetables In Space) cunningly disguising themselves in period costume. Of course, as with all fugitives with the might of all time and space at their fingertips there are a number of enemy beings and adversaries out there out to stop them.

Dr. Blackadder's methods of keeping below the spotlight are cunning (as cunning as a cunning sandwich with a double helping of cunning), choosing historical points in time where his activities would be difficult, if not impossible, to be traced. However, there are a small number of times where his presense in history has been spotted.

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▼ Television

► Television by country

► Television characters

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What's On?

Main Page The A-Team • American Dad • Das Love Boot • Dexter • Ed, Edd n Eddy • Father Ted • Frasier • House M.D. • I Love Lucy • Law and Order • Lost • Mad TV • My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic • My Name Is Earl • Pimp My Ride • Pinky and the Brain • Prison Break • Robot Chicken • Saturday Night Live • Scooby Doo • Sex and the City • The Simpsons • South Park • Star Trek • The Adventures of Stan Lee's Toupee • The Biggest Loser • The Daily Show • The French Prince of Bel Air • The Office • The Office (US Version) • The Sopranos • The West Wing • Torchwood • Touched by an Uncle • Wilde On •

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Featured articles: Blackadder - Oscar the Grouch - LIVE! with Uncle Remus •

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Television

History of television • Golden Age of Television • Mechanical television • Electronic television • Social aspects of television

Inventors and pioneers: John Logie Baird • Alan Blumlein • Walter Bruch • Alan Archibald Campbell-Swinton • Allen B. DuMont • Philo Taylor Farnsworth • Charles Francis Jenkins • Boris Grabovsky • Paul Gottlieb Nipkow • Constantin Perskyi • Boris Rosing • David Sarnoff • Kálmán Tihanyi • Vladimir Zworykin

Technology: • Digital television • Liquid crystal display television • Large-screen television technology

Terms: • Composite monitor • HDTV • Liquid crystal display television • PAL • Picture-in-picture • Pay-per-view • Plasma display • NICAM • NTSC • SECAM