Whoops! Perhaps you were looking for some other rice?
“I wish there is a Rice Buffet.”
Rice is a small predator native to North Japan. It feeds mainly on hamsters, though ten percent of the species is vegetarian. Their life span is rather short, due to their habitat requirements (a wet region) and lack of contact with other rice. Despite this, a Rice can breed up to a billion Rices. In spite of their size, they are renowned for their vicious nature; a Rice will attack and perhaps kill anyone who wanders near its territory.
A lesser known subspecies of Rice is known as Mochi, which lives in inner cities. The most common form of attacking its prey is "throat lodging" and it usually feeds on the elderly.
In 1937 BC, Rice was the leading alien race in the world of earth. It was superior to all other races (yes, that includes cats). Anything that defied it would be destroyed effectively immediately. Rice was a cruel ruler of the land, and led a small resistance to occur. They sent for a giant asteroid to purge the lands of every living thing. Rice would hide deep underground and pretend not to be organic to avoid this catastrophe. After this, cats started appearing, and become the new rulers of the land. In reality, Cats made the CATastrophe, and rice worshiped the cats for the asteroid. Rice soon became prey to one new scourge.....AZNS (also known as the Asian race). Azns started harvesting their souls, and eating their husks, but soon found out the that rice was crunchy because the were still alive and hade a hard battle armor on. this is the reasont they started to cook rice to destoy the armor with the very high temperature . In our days, no meal is complete for the average azn without a bowl of rice. Rice had a good, long lordship over the cat, but the cat is still ruler of our wold. Pray to the cats...
Surviving a Rice attack
Because Rice are so aggressive, remembering these tips can ensure your survival. Mostly.
- Remain calm - Rice can smell fear
- Don't give eye contact - Rice can smell eye contact
- Don't make sudden movements - Tip-toe through the rice fields
- Don't swear around Rice - They are conservative
- Use a shotty - The more, the better!
- Don't mention, look like or smell like Beans - Rice and Beans used to go everywhere together.
- Don't mention, look like or smell like Curry either - Rice hates curry because of the Indians' foul smell.
- Don't Jump up and down on your head whilst singing "Buffalo Soldier" at 100 decibels Rice likes Bob Marley, and so should you
If you are bitten, consider yourself screwed.