Riku

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Riku, the real reason why one shouldn't skip gym.

Riku (日本語:リク - Pronunciation key: Reely-kool) is a character from a widely known video game franchise created to suck funds from people from all walks of life with its rather addictive gameplay and bright colors, Kingdom Hearts. Notable for his hot bod and hair the color of Final Fantasy's amiable godfather, Sephiroth, Riku is an object of admiration and envy for many fangirls and fanboys worldwide, including Internationally renowned hairstylists such as Oscar Wilde, Dolly Parton and Walt Disney himself.

Riku, however, is a troubled teenager who seeks love, care, attention and most of all, every young boy's dream - a father figure who isn't too picky about being discarded for something better, for example a "best friend" sporting spiky brown hair.

Like every well-established sidekick/best friend/mortal enemy cum soulmate, Riku has his own story to tell. His little secrets revealed one by one, it is no wonder why most people consider Riku the real heroine of the story rather than the actual heroine herself, Kairi, who spent most of the game's timeline being either comatose or far, far away. Riku has prettier hair too.

Riku in Kingdom Hearts[edit]

Sephiroth: Why won't this pic die

Riku starts off as a sunbathing paopu-addict in the first location in the game, the Destiny Islands. Upset and frustrated at how small the island seemed compared to what he'd read in the Internets, coupled with the fact that his "best friend" had two-timed him with a little redhead, Riku allows himself to join the darkness. Some advantages of joining the darkside were getting a box of chocolates as a welcome gift and a few million Heartless minions at his command. He also got a sexy suit and a lovely feather-like skirt!

Riku later finds himself a new hot, six-packed, similarly silver-haired father figure, Sephiroth. Taken in by Ansem's good looks, charm, wit and intelligence that his poor best friend, Sora, could never hope to match, Riku accepts his request to do away with his once-best-friend in order to attain Kingdom Hearts and live happily ever after with Ansem.

Little did Riku know that he was being used as a tool. Ansem was not interested in Riku, but in Sora. And thus the drama ensued in Hollow Bastion where Riku mocks Sora's untidy hairdo and attempts to drive him away from Hollow Bastion in hopes of remaining Ansem's favorite.

Riku fails, and ultimately redeems himself for hurting his once-best-friend-then-best-friend-again's feelings by helping him close the door to Kingdom Hearts, in the process locking himself behind it with his new object of affection, King Mickey Mouse.

Riku in Chain of Memories[edit]

Riku appears again in Chain of Memories, where he forgets all about his once-best-friend-then-best-friend-again and remembers a blonde chick named Namine instead. Namine didn't have prettier hair than he did, though.

Castle Oblivion

In Castle Oblivion, where Riku was stationed in, he meets up with his replica who was created by a mad scientist who loved cute boys, Vexen. His replica, angered that his original should have hair as pretty as his own, and Riku, feeling angered likewise, duels with him to the death. As his replica fades away, he asks the tentative question, "Which hairstylist will artificial hearts go to consult?" in which Riku kindly replies, "The same salon my heart will go to someday."

Before that, Vexen had been slayed because Riku's replica was convinced by Axel that Vexen had secretly changed the contents of his shampoo.

Riku discovers another pretty self.

Oblivious to all these going-ons, Riku makes his way up to the summit of Castle Oblivion and faces Sora once more. Sadly, Riku has forgotten all about his childhood crush and rivalry and decides to fight him too.

At the end of the game, after having lost to Sora and meeting up with Mickey again, Riku discovers a closet ice-cream junkie called DiZ. He reveals to DiZ that he's bisexual, by remarking that he chose "the middle road".

Riku in Kingdom Hearts II[edit]

In Kingdom Hearts II, Riku spends most of the game crawling in the dark looking for the answers and listening the Hoobastank. He starts wearing more black and blindfolds himself for a cooler image. His old yellow-white-blue theme had started to attract too much attention from old men.Well, he actually wears the blindfold because if he took it off he would turn into Ansem... which also gives him a tan... fock.

Riku reading his lines for kingdom hearts 2.
Mickey greets Riku with rapture.

Riku changes himself for the better by becoming more docile and wifelike in his duty to protect his once-best-friend-then-best-friend-again. His hair grows prettier too, and Sora realizes what a boor he had been to two-time his best friend. To make up for it, Sora goes on an epic search to find Riku, take him back to the Destiny Islands and live their days in sunny bliss.

If only it were that easy.

Riku attaches himself to the mature and experienced King Mickey. He also discovers Roxas, Axel's alleged boyfriend on the run from The Law. Invoking Axel's wrath by turning Roxas in to get Sora back to the world of the living, Axel decides to get even with Riku by making it difficult for him to get back with Sora. In the process, Axel sacrifices his own life just to prove to Riku that he was the better man.

Hounded by drama and finally deciding to give up on ever returning to the islands, he finds himself stuck on a dark beach with Sora. Where he confesses his undying love for Sora. Sora returns the feeling and they make out which leads to the removal of clothing followed by a really hot yaoi scene. This is a secret cutscene no one has yet figured out how to unlock. Later the once comatose Kairi helps them find the door to the light and they return to the islands. Kairi is later thrown into depression when she stumbles upon Riku and Sora making out for the tenth time that day.

Riku's Fashion Sense[edit]

Riku's Prom Dress
Navel Exposure

Throughout the globe there is a rather huge following of fans for Riku's sense of dressing and grooming. His style is knwon as 'The Good, the Bad, and the Sexy'. For one thing, Riku makes himself stand out as the epitome of metrosexuality when he adorns a dress in Kingdom Hearts. His replica wears a dress too.

Dancing like a ballerina in battle, Riku's fashionable keyblade, The Way to The Dance, is an accessory recreated by legions of Riku cosplayers worldwide.

Riku also wears a navel-exposing outfit when he isn't all dressed in black.

Personality traits[edit]

Riku loves attention. See Also: Riku's Fashion Sense.

Riku loves paopu. He's a romantic at heart.

Looks the part too.

He is secretly bisexual.

Riku's life dream is to have a threesome with Sora and Kairi.

Riku loves Sora. Kairi is the doormat.

His hair was once styled to be a likeness of Kairi, but she hacked it off with a weedhacker. Since then, he has grown it long to cover the scars.

Family[edit]

Riku's parents are currently in disgrace, as they are constantly heckled for naming both their children, Riku and Rikku, practically the same. It's a good explanation for where Riku's lack of creativity in cheesy reunion scenes came from. They also don't care much when their children disappear for 2 years.

He is a possible nephew of Sephiroth and bears a striking resemblance to Kadaj, and maybe even Raiden. One question however: what is UP with those pants? I mean, seriously. It's not cool to copy MC Hammer.