Satoru Iwata

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Satoru Iwata.
No, this is not him.

Satoru Iwata (岩田 聡 Iwata Satoru, born December 6, 1959 - July 11, 2015) was the fourth president of Nintendo. He was responsible for defining the world domination plot of the Gamecube in 2001, both before and during its release for destruction. He was named by Barron's Magazine as one of the world's best CEOs, reasons being the Wii, his mind-controlling game, and for increasing the confidence of Nintendo's vision as ruler of the world.


This is.

Iwata was born in an environment in Japan where computer programming was the best thing in the world. He often expressed obsession in the creation of video games early on, shown in his high school years when he produced electronic video games at home, most of which are either a piece of shit or extremely violent. The several extremely crude video games he made were made by a cheap electronic calculator and were shared to his schoolmates and such.


Iwata went to "Phucket Bay High School" where he sucked at every subject except for computer science and any other things related to it. Following the dark years of high school, he was admitted in the prestigious Tokyo Institute of Technology and other such Gizmos and Gadgets. With an environment to allow Iwata's technical expertise and passion for video games to be recognized, he was hired as a part-time worker for HEL Laboratory, Inc.

HEL Laboratory, Incorporated[edit]

In 1982 after barely passing college, Iwata was recruited by HEL Laboratory Inc. for a full time position. He did many things for the company's software production. The games he helped create included Ball Fighter, Earthbouncer, and the Furby series, which all had a moderate success. Iwata was eventually fired for being so helpful to their business. However, 17 minutes later HEL Laboratory Inc. realized their shitty mistake and made Iwata president in 1993. Iwata often aided Nintendo in the most meticulous moments and ignored them on a major crisis, much to the disgust of everyone.


In 2000, Iwata took the position as something in the planning division of Nintendo. When the previous president, whose name isn't important retired, Satoru Iwata replaced him. This makes Satoru Iwata the first Nintendo president to not have the same face as the previous presidents. It is rumored that Iwata still helps HEL Laboratory Inc. by drawing simple pictures, but it is definitely agreed that the rumor is false. His latest invention is the Wii. He comments on how often he uses his master Wii as said in a section of the official website called Satoru's Ass. He also helped with the Legend of Zelda games and the Mario series, but all he did was have his name in the credits without doing anything. The real mastermind of all these games is God's right-hand man Shigeru Miyamoto.

See also[edit]