Stage combat

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Stage combat. Terribly realistic.

Stage Combat is a dramatic skill where performers pretend to inflict injury upon another person in order to attract drama students of the opposite or sometimes same sex.


Several high profile stage combat practitioners have gone on to become the diving coach for premiership football teams helping players better recreate injuries and exaggerate offences by other players.

Many performers turn to stage combat as an alternative to the real armed forced due to cowardice or love of attention which is frowned upon in many military environments especially where stealth is needed. This has become less of an issue since 2011 when the US Armed Forces lifted it's 'Don't Ask, don't tell' policy.


Popular weapon systems used in stage combat.

  • Unarmed Combat - Fighting using only the legs and sometimes head, use of the arm or hands will result in a booking.
  • Single Rapier - Rapier use by actors not currently in a relationship.
  • Quarterstaff - Like a staff but 75% smaller.
  • Broadsword - A generic term for any sword.
  • Smallsword - A small thrusting weapon who's users will often tell you "It's not the size, it's what you do with it"
  • Bastard Sword - A weapon used by those with questionable parentage.
  • Gladius - A modern weapon invented for the 2000 film 'Gladiator'.
  • Light Sabre - A curved sword used by light cavalry a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....


As artistic resources became scarcer, more stage combat practitioners split from established teaching organisations to found academies of there own. This reached its inevitable climax when every stage combat practitioner had formed a company containing only themselves as master teacher.

The flood of new academies resulted in an exponential rise in certifications being awarded to actors which in turn enabled them to add the skill to their CV. A large number of these certification were actually sub-prime certifications due to the high risk associated with the performer and their inability to repay such qualification with the appropriate skill level. These certifications lead to many performers CV being labelled as toxic assets and acting agencies around the world looked to quickly offload these high risk assets to balance their books.

As world authorities investigated these qualifications it soon become apparent they were essentially worthless which caused shares in drama schools and theatre companies to plummet globally. Many attempts were made to encourage growth such as quantitative easing by injecting a large amount of actors back into the economy.