T and Biscuits

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“Not since "The Dogo Syndicate" have I seen such a masterful piece of storytelling”

~ Oscar Wilde on T and Biscuits

“Some people have way too much time on their hands...”

~ Tomamar on T and Biscuits

“...and some people don't have any time *dramatic pause filled with a caffeine boost* for crime”

~ T on T and Biscuits

The Synopsis[edit]

Episode 64: Life, the universe and Rich Tea biscuits

The long-running, hard-hitting, tele-visionary Brit-Cop crime series, created by Brett Stevens and B.L.Wellsingham about 2 very mismatched cops. Vince Bourbon (or 'biscuits') is a streetwise well-to-do cop who has little respect for authority. Jonathan 'T' Leadfields is a cop with intimate knowledge of the streets, who has had everything handed to him on a plate, but won't listen to his superiors. When they were teamed up in 'Episode 1:Tea for 2' their personalities clashed and they hated each other, but it was their love of tea, that created the best crime double EVER.


The most famous dunk from the series

Throughout the first 8 series, T and biscuits were never seen without a mug in hand, even when doing death defying stunts. This ended with 'the chief' (Derek Hardarse) asking for both their badges after they let a Drug smuggler get away because he chucked some Jaffa Cakes from his speeding car. Vince responded by throwing his tea in 'the chief's' face, which he instantly regretted.

The series then became 'T and biscuits: P.Is', then 'T and biscuits: P.Ies' when corporate executives were brought in to manage the humour. This decision caused T.W.B.L.C. "Dwighty" Mansworth the 3rd ('biscuits') to leave the series. The show then became 'T and biscuits (deceased)' where a young Alec Guinness played the ghost of 'biscuits', but Alec had to leave to promote his new beverage and there was confusion over who would replace him. In a surprising twist, he was replaced by the cartoon character 'Captain Bucky O'Hare', the ratings sharply plumetted and the show was cancelled in it's 18th season.

Fun Fact[edit]

The actor playing 'T' had 16 heartattacks as a result of the amount of tea he had to drink on stages.

The Letters left at the scene of crime in episode 23: Tea or Coffee or Murder?

It was only in the 17th series that someone suggested using coloured water to give the impression of tea instead of actual tea.

Best Episodes[edit]

Episode 28: A biscuit only has one side Episode 37: Milk and sugar, sugar? Episode 51: T minus 8 hours Episode 52: Some lie, some cheat, some drink Episode 60: Dunk and the truth will emerge Episode 77: Anyone for a shot at T? Episode 5: From Dreams to Crumbs Episode 12: GET! DUNK! DEVOUR!