Talk:Harry Potter

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Will take a look at Half Blood Prince first, by sporking some text from Wikipedia, if it has any, if not there will be a wiki on it. Then will start to bend it out of shape!  EStop Press here for Room Service 02:44, August 5, 2016 (UTC)

Thanks.--HolUp (talk) 02:47, August 5, 2016 (UTC)

Here is the first paragraph, if you are happy, I can stick it in or please, go right ahead edit it yourself if you want a different angle, have another two paragraphs about the same length to go:

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is the sixth novel in J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter series. Set during Harry Potter's 6th year at Hogwarts, Lord Voldemort is definitely back and with a vengeance, which is annoying as by now Harry should be thinking about girls and smoking behind the bike shed. Instead, Harry finds his world of magic is yet again changing for the worse and Offstead are starting to breathe down the necks of senior management. Wizards and witches and Muggles are dying despite the efforts of the Ministry of Magic and the Order of the Phoenix to stop them. Double maths on a Friday is disrupted now the war has started up again leaving the students struggling with trig and basic equations. EStop Press here for Room Service 03:07, August 5, 2016 (UTC)

Despite the danger, Harry and his best friends, Ron and Hermione, reunite and return to the familiar life of Hogwarts for their 6th year, resigned to the fact they will probably never be accountants now and have to face a career of sitting in a tepee on the outskirts of a small village curing warts instead. They find yet another Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher; Professor Snape, who they admit, always seemed a bit wobbly when it came to deciding whether he should be good or evil or whatever. They begin their N.E.W.T. classes in preparation for life after Hogwarts, and Harry gets some much needed Potions help from the mysterious Half-Blood Prince.  EStop Press here for Room Service 03:24, August 5, 2016 (UTC)

The term sees the re-introduction of the Slug Club, for nerds that prefer racing slugs to hanging around in town, begging for a local to buy them a half-bottle of vodka. Ther term sees the appointment of a new Potions teacher, Horace Slughorn. Harry deeply questions his own feelings for Ginny Weasley, Ron's younger sister, while trying to understand the effect it is having on his friends, which he will instantly grow out of once he finally gets his hands on her tits. Yet while life at Hogwarts continues, the deaths also continue, with someone trying to bring murder weapons into Hogwarts, despite the plethora of lethal spells and mortally powerful magic wands, in the hands of out of control children. Danger seems to lurk around every corner, and Harry is as determined as ever to unmask it. Albus Dumbledore takes Harry under his guidance and together they explore Lord Voldemort's past, a job that should have been done by the Department of Education before employment, to find a way to stop him before it is too late.

Over to you!  EStop Press here for Room Service 04:04, August 5, 2016 (UTC)

If you want to make it more like the original, i.e. keep the comedy strategy of using the Half-Blood Prince as either Prince or the rap scene (I guess), I can tweak it further, but would keep the general text and some of the jokes as a framework. The paragraph in the article itself as it stands, I agree is not that funny or clever.  EStop Press here for Room Service 15:41, August 5, 2016 (UTC)

Sorry for the delays. I was asleep.

Anyway, I like what you've done, but I notice you've mostly sparked material from the Harry Potter wiki. No offense, but I find that the plot summaries there are kind of sloppy there feel like they were written by a 12 year old.

Would it be possible for you to spork from Wikipedia's HP article instead?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Potter_and_the_Half-Blood_Prince https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Potter#Plot

--HolUp (talk) 19:50, August 5, 2016 (UTC)

I did that originally, but the synopsis on Wikipedia was several paragraphs long, and not knowing the story, I was concerned about cutting it down too much, without knowing whether I was removing an important bit of the story. The fan wiki version was the only one that seemed manageable. In the article we are working on, it is only a few lines so would be very watered-down anyway. Tell you what, if you give the key bits that are important, I can mash it with the above. If you feel that all the info on wikipedia is relevant, another option is to write a separate article on it and link it from this one.  EStop Press here for Room Service 20:00, August 5, 2016 (UTC)

Okay as requested, here is the fisrt section for you to play with HolUp. Just some ideas so tweak away. Will continue with the rest later:

The central character in the series is Harry Potter, a bespeckled nerdy looking smartass kid — the type bullies like to harass — that wants to be a wizard, though he lives at a council estate in Colchester. Like British politics and FIFA, the wizarding world exists in parallel to the real world and is shrouded in secrecy.

Potter becomes a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a wizarding academy in Scotland, where most of the events take place between midge attacks, torrential downpours and political smears by the SNP for educating “Th’english” for free, which they made illegal for all Welsh and English Muggles. As Harry develops through his adolescence, he learns to overcome the problems that face him: magical, social and emotional, including ordinary teenage challenges such as World of Warcraft, foot-shuffling monosyllabic moods, girls, athlete’s foot and being forced to get out of bed and go outdoors occasionally. --  EStop Press here for Room Service 18:20, September 18, 2016 (UTC)