UnBooks:An Uncyclopedian Christmas Tale/bensonwins
Chapter 13: It's the Final Countdown! (dur dur dur dur, duda da da dur, dud dur dur dur dur...) Chapter (VICTORY FOR BENSON VERSION)[edit]
And so the Unpocalypse begins....
Knee-deep in the bloody remains of a thousand huffed articles BENSON and his army of evil henchmen purvey the carnage they have wrought. Hiding behind a gruesome pile of murdered {{vanity2}} tags, the ragged band of remaining Uncyclopedians gaze in horror at the scene.
Mhaille: (whispering} Just let me slip into my Camel, I'll give that nasty Hun a bit of what's what...
Codeine (visibly shaken): How has it come to this? Where did we go wrong, my brothers?
Braydie: Hmm, well it seems back in Chapter 2. If we had just finished it there, it would have been fine now. Nice writing Codeine.
Tompkins: (Eyes filling with tears) Yeah, nice one Codeine.
flyingfeline(Stands forward): Look guys, we can get through this....
From the darkness of the House of Pancakes, a hooded figure appears.
BENSON: no tiny mammal, you can't escape. all of you are foolish enough to walk into my lair, my plan has come together, finally.
Tompkins: And to think I let you off the hook!
BENSON: ahh, tompkins, yes you were kind to me...
Screams are heard from somewhere in the back.
BENSON: squiggly, your mother is quite the whinger isn't she?
Squiggle: Yes..... I mean no, damn you!
Squiggle starts to run for BENSON
Maroon lightning crackles from BENSON's fingertips as Squiggle screams in agony.
BENSON: and now, my young uncyclopedians, you...will...die
Bensonites crawl out of the soft delicious walls and head for the party of Uncyclopedians.
Jedravent: In addition to your death, the Chronicles will not mention your existence! I'll make sure of it...
Alksub: Oh, I was so high and mighty chronicling! Why did I defect?
Cainad: Speaking of defecting, I did just that when I aided Nin's escape. And I write the Chronicles! What a coincidence!
Mhaille puts up a fight with a turkey carcass he happened to find amidst the carnage, before being knocked unconscious by a violently thrown Euroipod.
The remaining Uncyclopedians gather on a low hill made of the broken bodies of their departed comrades.
Tompkins: But the gods, where are they?!
Codeine visualises The Divine Temple, the protector of Uncyclopedia Hermes, is concentrating on Spang watching his every move. Persephone the divine healer is passed out on the floor.
Zeus is dealing with other problems and Aphrodite is talking to the police about the noise coming from the Village Dump.
The last words heard on the 24th of December 2006 came from the towering figure (with his new wife, Mother Squiggle), the new ruler of Uncyclopedia, Benson.
BENSON: benson wants world communism and good will towards men. kinda like santa. but with no presents! benson hates presents...
The End.