UnNews:And on the fourth day...

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We distort, you deride UnNews Friday, May 14, 2021, 04:28:59 (UTC)

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3 March 2021

Orrin Blankstare.

WACO, Texas, USA - Supporters of President-reject Donald Trump have decided that they are still supporting him. However, since their support has not transformed him into President-reboot Trump, plans have been made to complete his reinauguration. UnNews spoke to Orrin Blankstare (OB), a founding member of the We're Trump's Followers (WTF) movement.

UnNews: "Mr. Blankstare, you are proposing that Donald Trump should be reinagurated as President on March 4th. Why this particular date?"

OB: "Because it is the true date of the inauguration, set when men were men, patriots were patriots and they decided who was president, not a bunch of lying Democrats."

UnNews: "Even though the Democrats were founded by Andrew Jackson, military hero, who claimed that the 1824 presidential election was stolen from him, supported slavery and the annexation of Texas?"

OB: "Well, in those days even Democrats had to be kind of anti-democratic. Besides, we're running out of historical precedents for getting our president elected."

UnNews: "What is the position of WTF on the claim that the majority of votes cast for Joe Biden were in fact fraudulent?"

OB: "Very simple. The people who were dragged out of hiding from the Department of Homeland Security to vote for Biden shouldn't have been allowed to vote in the first place."

UnNews: "As they seemed to be on the electpral rolls, why shouldn't they have been allowed to vote?"

OB: "You look at the people who voted for Biden. Gay, colored and hardly any of them have any guns."

UnNews; "You mean 'One gun, one vote'?"

OB: "Hey, that's pretty good. You mind if we use that?"

UnNews: "Feel free, I'm sure you will. Isn't that getting a bit close to what's happening in Myanmar at the moment?"

OB: What's Myanmar?"

UnNews: "The country that was previously known as Burma. The military have locked up the democratically elected leader and are currently shooting the people who are protesting against them."

OB: "Yeah? How do you spell that Myanmar? I've got too look this up."

UnNews: "Apart from overthrowing the government, have you got any other plans?"

OB: "We are going to show all those people who are saying that Donald Trump is politically dead that they are wrong, Now that's kind of like a resurrection, right? Well, we're going to change the date of that upcoming religious festival to March 4 and rename it Trumpster."

UnNews: "How do the religious authorities feel about this?"

OB: "So far we got a few patriotic pastors onside, but the establishment is kind of resistant. They say there is quite enough squabbling about the Messiah already."

UnNews: "Thanks for your insights, Orrin. Next up, we're looking at the "Texas Test" being trialled in that very state. The governor has decided that precautions against COVID-19 are not necessary, for if you die from it, you're not a true Texan."


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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.

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