UnNews:Donald Trump reveals "fake deaths"
| Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, April 25, 2024, 10:29:59 (UTC) |
| Donald Trump reveals "fake deaths" | 
|
6 March 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump has again come out swinging in his latest authoritative statement on the COVID-19 mortality rate. He is upset that the World Health Organization has calculated a mortality rate by dividing the number of deaths by the number of cases and multiplying by one hundred. He has performed his own calculations on the fly and pronounced that WHO is out by more than an a factor of ten.
UnNews: "President Trump, can you explain the method you employed to calculate the mortality rate for COVID-19?"
DT: "I don't see why I should have to explain it. It's obvious to any genius."
UnNews: "Given that the definition of genius suggests that only a very small proportion of the population are so gifted, how are the rest of the population to understand it without an explanation?"
DT: "That's their problem. I just tell them the facts."
UnNews: "Well, recently you were saying that COVID-19 was just a conspiracy put out by WHO to cause a global panic when things were actually going better than they had ever gone before. You implied that it was a fake disease."
DT: "Well, of course it is. Now how can they be so sure of the mortality rate for a fake disease?"
UnNews: "But there are a lot of people dying of it, so how can it be a fake disease?"
DT: "Fake deaths. I'm not the only one who has this problem. China, Iran and I wouldn't be surprised if a few other nations also have the fake death problem."
UnNews: "There has been photographic evidence of piles of bodies in both China and Iran. The authorities there have only denied the evidence and those who revealed it have disappeared."
DT: "That's how we should deal with all these fake deaths. Besides, how do you know that they're dead? Have you seen the death certificates?"
UnNews: "Not personally, but there seem to be too many accounts of this to blandly state that all those apparently dead bodies aren't dead."
DT: "Faking it, that's all. Fake disease, fake deaths. Perfectly logical."
UnNews: "You have promised that a vaccine would soon be available. How can a vaccine be developed for a fake disease?"
DT: "You obviously have no idea of how to manage a fake pandemic. Sad. It's much easier to develop a fake vaccine than a real one. Our world first team is close to releasing its solution to this fake problem. We're doing a great job, and the best one possible. We've closed the border with Italy, who else would have done that?"
UnNews: "Could we return to the mortality rate for a moment. You did after all calculate a mortality rate, and if you think that the deaths are fake, how can there be a mortality rate?"
DT: "I see no problem, the mortality rate may be fake, but the fake mortality rate put out by WHO is far too high."
UnNews: "So, how is the fake mortality rate that you have calculated any better than the one WHO has calculated?"
DT: "WHO, as always, is trying to pretend that America is not great and by extension that I am not the greatest. They do this by counting all the fake deaths as real deaths. But that is not the real problem. They ignore all the healthy people."
UnNews: "But that's the baseline mortality rate if you include people who haven't got the disease!"
DT: "Only if you accept the erroneous methods of WHO. You don't know if they do have the fake disease, so there are all these apparently healthy people who could actually be sick with this fake disease and you don't know it."
UnNews: "You mean they're faking that they don't have a fake disease?"
DT: "Those Democrats would fake anything, kid."
Sources[edit]
- Joanna Walters, Lauren Aratani and Peter Beaumont "Trump calls WHO's global death rate from coronavirus 'a false number'". The Guardian, March 06, 2020