UnNews:Elephant uprising in Kenya

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Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out UnNews Tuesday, July 27, 2021, 17:44:59 (UTC)

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19 March 2021

Young elephants protesting at Amboseli.

Amboseli, Kenya -- Elephants are protesting in Amboseli at the plan to increase the export of avocados from Kenya. UnNews spoke to Jeremiah Salaash of Kili Avo Fresh about this unexpected opposition to the expansion of avocado exports.

UnNews: "Good morning, Mr. Salaash. We hope that you can give us the inside information on the avocado situation."

JS: "I will certainly try. We have great plans to increase employment and land values in an otherwise poor part of the country."

UnNews: "But the elephants haven't really gotten behind the idea."

JS: "It's really not that simple, unfortunately. This younger generation of elephants have acquired a taste for smashed avo and are causing tremendous difficulty with production."

UnNews: "So the elephants feel that they should have first smash of the avocados."

JS: "Exactly. This new generation of elephants expects to have everything delivered to them. Not like the older elephants. Why they hardly ate avocados at all. Now these millenials want them all the time. What will they be asking for next?"

UnNews: "Are there any plans to discourage young elephants from eating all these avocados?"

JS: "We are concerned about their health, you know. It is clear that they are not getting enough roughage on a diet of avocados. Elephants need a lot of fiber in their diet and we are seeing more and more cases of young elephants who are unable to relieve themselves#REDIRECT [[1]]."

UnNews: "So the real problem is lack of nutritional counseling for young elephants."

JS: "Indeed. We are trying to wean them off avocados and back on to the healthy food that elephants have eaten for thousands of years. But do they listen? No, they think they are invulnerable until they lumber into an elephant clinic with avocadoitis#REDIRECT [[2]. Perhaps then they will learn that avocados are for people and not elephants."

UnNews: "Well, thanks for your insights Mr. Salaash and we hope that the elephants will take your advice."