UnNews:Horse refused service at McDonalds

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out UnNews Friday, April 19, 2024, 18:56:59 (UTC)

Horse refused service at McDonalds UnNews Logo Potato.png

21 July 2013
Bury, Greater Manchester, England

The customer, Mrs Ena Sharples, accused McDonald's of double standards.

Police sources have confirmed that a woman was arrested yesterday for attempting to order a Big Mac Meal from the Bury New Road McDonald’s Drive-Thru whilst riding a horse. A spokesman for Greater Manchester Constabulary announced that she was detained under Section 2 of the Mental Health act as “attempting to eat a Big Mac conforms to our psychiatric unit’s definition of intention to self-harm.”

The Manchester Evening News reports that “T’woman pulled-up at t’drive-thru saying “Hey up, Chuck. Gi’ us Big Mac meal an' don’t be stingey wi’ chips. Ay, an’ don’t forget to tek t’gherkin out a’ Barm-cake first, by gum.” Witnesses report th’ orse said nowt.”

On being refused service at the Drive-In counter the distraught customer then led the animal inside where, according to manager, Willie Eckerslike, it "ended up doing his business on t’ floor. Not only that but it peed on t’ napkin dispenser. Buckets and buckets o’ steamin’ urine almost washed away t’pile of Ronald McDonald plush-toys. That thing were pissin like an ‘orse.”

McDonald's denied that horses were banned from its premises claiming that “We’ve been serving horse since our first restaurant opened in the UK in 1974.”

However, company chairman Donald McRonald said it was forced to then remove the customer from its restaurant after it had defecated on the floor as “Customers are expected to come in and buy shite rather than bring their own.”


Sources[edit]