UnNews:Invisible Man evades capture
| Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, April 25, 2024, 12:01:59 (UTC) |
| Invisible Man evades capture | 
|
24 June 2013
QUITO, MOSCOW, DISNEYLAND Where is he? USA?
American security services are hunting the world for a man in bandages who leaked the story that President Barack Obama doesn't actually exist. In a shock revelation, fugitive/CIA/Illuminati operative Edward Snowden says Obama is really a hologram created in a top secret research facility know as Paranoia.
Snowden, who says his shock discovery has forced to flee the world and hide under bandages like a burns victim, discovered the awful truth about Obama when cleaning out his iTunes library.
"I really believed in this guy but now I have discovered he is a pseudo-three-dimensiona X-Box product," said Snowden. "I believe he is a token ethnic sprite from Send in the Drones who found his way out."
Now the whistleblower believes he has done the world a service by showing how the USA has been secretly accessing everyone's information. In a final message before he once again covered himself in bandages, Snowden said:
"I can't stay here. I may head to Egypt and lie low with the mummies, but by then I trust I won't be recognised. I expect Lord Snowdon [the former husband of Princess Margaret of England] will have a hard time if he fancies returning to the USA. His passport will get flagged up! But now I must away!"
Recent reports say the CIA have asked the British government to arrest a mountain in Wales.
Sources[edit]
- Staff "Edward Snowdon, Master Leaker". Bloomberg, June 24, 2013