UnNews:Is "lookism" a problem for older women?

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Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out UnNews Wednesday, October 28, 2020, 22:37:59 (UTC)

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22 September 2020

Phil and Grisola - street presenters.

PICKLEMERE, England -- The recent complaint that women who work as presenters are not allowed to grow old gracefully while their male colleagues can age in whatever manner they please prompted UnNews to do some investigative journalism. After finding out what this meant, two prominent street presenters were interviewed for their views on this burning issue.

UnNews: "We have here Phil Winesup and Grisola Derreaux, two of our most notable and long serving presenters here in Picklemere. Phil and Grisola, what do you think about this lookism problem?"

Phil: "Wuddee say, Grisola?"

Grisola: "E wants to know if we get a look-in."

Phil: "A look in what?"

UnNews: "My apologies. I was asking about lookism, the new term used for the unacceptability of female presenters if they don't look so good any more."

Phil: "You sayin' that Grisola doesn't look good?"

UnNews: "No, I'm asking in general about the acceptability of older women presenters as time takes its toll, shall we say."

Grisola: "I think I got ya. Over the years that Phil and I have been presenting on this street corner, the both of us have gotten older, right?"

Phil: "Yep, that's right Grissie. And a lot wiser too, I'll say."

UnNews: "Yes, that's the idea. Now what are your opinions about any changes that you have noticed about your acceptability?"

Phil: "Awl, I'd say we're just about as unacceptable as we ever were."

Grisola: "Nah, what he means is has one or the other of us gotten more unacceptable as we get older."

Phil: "Well, there was that time about 30-40 years ago when you got into that radical feminism."

Grisola: "Aw, that was just a phase. It was only because you tried to take up busking with the harmonica and it just sounded like a stray dog attacking an accordian."

Phil: "Yair, I guess I never really worked out when to suck and when to blow."

UnNews: "But thinking about right now, do either of you feel as though one is ageing more gracefully than the other?"

Grisola: "It's not that easy to age gracefully, y'know. Fine when ya can swan off to the day spa all the time and have a perm and a nose job or whatever they do."

Phil: "I'd say ya look just fine, Grissie. Especially since ya gave up that polio diet and put a bit of meat back on."

Grisola: "Paleo, Phil. How many times I have to tell ya. I thought it was a diet for old people but it hurt what was left of my teeth so much I just couldn't keep doin' it."

UnNews: "Let's take a different tack on this. Do you ever watch television?"

Phil: "Of course we do. Look across the street and whaddya see? A TV repair shop. Always got it on, day and night. Can't really hear what's going on but it gives us sumpin' to look apart from each other."

UnNews: "Now when someone comes on to read the news, it's either a man or a woman, right?"

Phil: "Well, mostly. These days ya kinda wonder sometimes."

UnNews: "Now do you ever think about how old the man or woman is who is presenting the news?"

Grisola: "Ah! I see what ya mean. If it's a woman sometimes I think to meself, 'Gawd, she's let herself go, hasn't she' and if it's a man I think 'Gawd lookit the old goat starin' at that nice young girl with the you know."

Phil: "I wouldn't mind a few more of them nice young girls either."

Grisola: "Once a perv, always a perv. They've got some good lookin' young fellas too."

UnNews: "So if you had to make a choice between old male presenters and old female presenters, which would you prefer?"

Grisola: "I guess it's a question of whether they'd last through the news. Now suppose they toppled off the chair and had to be hauled away there'd be a gap to fill. So as women tend to live longer, I suppose it's less likely that we'd have to sit here with nothin' goin' on until they got a replacement."

Phil: "Good thinking, Grissie. It'd kinda be fun if one of those old guys did meet the reaper while blabbin' away over there. Can't hear what they're sayin' anyway so a bit of action might be just what they need."

UnNews: "If I understand you, Grisola, you would prefer old women reading the news and you, Phil, would rather old men."

Grisola: "You could say that, I guess."

Phil: "I spose that sums it up."

UnNews: "There you have it, folks. We can confidently say that in the opinion of presenters, women seem to have a preference for older women and men are more tolerant of older men. Stay tuned for the latest on whether face recognition is really racist or sexist or maybe it just has a thing for eyebrows."