UnNews:Israel to cancel North

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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? UnNews Friday, April 19, 2024, 23:21:59 (UTC)

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20 July 2006

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Jerusalem. Home of some angry Jews

Following a heated government debate the state of Israel has officially declared the cancellation of the North.

"It is quite simple". Declared the Israeli PM Olmet, "Nothing good has ever come out of the North. The only stuff we got out of it was Guerillas, Syrians, rockets and the occasional French tourists. I say - the hell with the North! We don't need it!"

The NORTH BOINK. Not so popular these days


"We all remember the famous biblical phrase - and from the North thy nastiness shall erupt (Hebrew:כי מצפון תפתח הרעה). So this is it, we are bidding the North goodbye".

In response to the question how will the state call the direction opposite to the South from now on said Olmert: "I was thinking about a cool word like SHAZAM or BOINK, but what's the point since we are just going to ignore that direction from now on?"


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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.