UnNews:Kanye demands seat on Adidas board

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard UnNews Monday, November 23, 2020, 18:57:59 (UTC)

Kanye demands seat on Adidas board UnNews Logo Potato.png

20 July 2020

West at a campaign rally touted "security" for African-Americans.

NORTH CHARLESTON, South Carolina -- Rapper, songwriter, and budding Presidential candidate Kanye West now wants to be a corporate executive too.

During a campaign rally here on Sunday, West declared that he would walk away from 10-year marketing deals with Adidas and Gap if they did not put him on their respective Boards of Directors.

He made the remarks during a speech for more power for African-Americans. He said he wanted to break the stereotypes that hold black people down. He would do so by kicking off a new stereotype, that black people are temperamental and unreliable. "When God calls Moses, he has to leave his comfy job working for the Egyptians and free the people," he said. Though West has a comfy job, it does not involve stone tablets, and neither endorsement deal covers Egypt.

Most of the companies' existing Directors are also businessmen with whom the companies had contracts that the businessmen threatened to break if not also named to the Board.

West's remarks come as literally dozens of black people are set to walk off the jobs today in more than two dozen cities in the "Strike for Black Lives." They will make the same point, chanting, "We too are temperamental and unreliable!" A previous effort, involving destroying statues of the people who founded the nation and who ended slavery, apparently did not make that point with sufficient clarity.

Go to the Front Page
UnNews Senior Editors are currently spilling coffee on this related article:

Rapper Kanye runs for President

West will not be on the South Carolina Presidential ballot, as the speech took the place of collecting 10,000 signatures by the deadline, which was noon the next day. However, as previously reported, West did pay $35,000 to get on the ballot in the state of Oklahoma. Since then, he has emailed the Oklahoma Election Board, threatening to stop payment on the check unless they also name him the winner.

Sources[edit]