UnNews:On White Power and off again

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Straight talk, from straight faces UnNews Saturday, September 19, 2020, 01:46:59 (UTC)

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30 June 2020

A quickie with White Power.

WASHINGTON DC, usa -- In another attempt to purify his support among People Without Color (PWC), President Donald Trump has retweeted a video that included a person shouting "White Power", then deleted it. UnNews has contacted the President in an attempt to clear up his position on this matter.

UnNews: "Good evening, Mr. President. We have called to get the low down on this video that briefly appeared on your voluminous and sometimes newsworthy Twitter feed. We've checked it out and it does include this guy in a golf cart shouting, 'White Power'. Do you feel that this comment could be construed as racist?"

Donald Trump (DT): "Well, let's get this straight. The gentleman was in a golf cart, correct?"

UnNews: "Yes, it certainly looks like a golf cart, Mr. President."

DT: "Most people with any common sense would think that he might have been playing golf. He might well have been shouting 'Slice Power' after putting his tee shot on the green on a fairway angling to the right with bunkers on both sides."

UnNews: "It did sound very much like 'White Power' to me Mr. President and a lot of people seem to agree."

DT: "I have to admit that when my press secretary pointed out that pretty much every person who saw it seemed to think that the gentleman was saying 'White Power' I had to review my interpretation. Much as I think he was or should have been saying 'Slice Power' it could be mistaken for 'White Power' by a person who had no feeling for golf. Now Miss McEnany may be cute as a button, but I found her excuse that I didn't hear it a bit troublesome. Suppose some people think that I'm losing my hearing? Next it will be forgetting the names of important people and they'll think I'm as far gone as that old crock that the Democrats have been dumb enough to prop up as their candidate in the upcoming election. I understand that he's campaigning from a bomb shelter or some place like that. Probably thinks that we're still in the Cold War and the atom bombs will be dropping before we've had a chance to be great again."

UnNews: "Having gotten past the confusion about what was actually said, do you think that 'White Power' is a racist slogan?"

DT: "As you journalists are drawn to trouble like blowflies to a decomposing heap of foreigners who haven't made it through the current pandemic, you surely have heard people shouting 'Black Power' with their fists raised."

UnNews: "There seems to be a lot of it at the moment."

DT: "So I ask you, is that racist? I mean if we boil it right down to the meaning, it doesn't sound very racist to me. So if Black Power isn't racist, how come White Power is?"

UnNews: "I think that Black Power is a response to the perception that various sorts of people who are not white feel that white people have power over them and it's a rallying cry for equality rather than a complete inversion of power."

DT: "That may sound nice, but deep down I think it's a demand to take something that white people have. You can't say that about White Power. It's just a simple, sensible statement of reality, not some claim on something that somebody else has. Let's go back to school on this. If white people have something, say a million pizzas and people who aren't white want to take some of them, the white people are going to lose some pizzas, right? Now is that what you'd call fair?"

UnNews: "I'd respond that if the people who aren't white didn't have any pizzas and wanted some, would you call that fair?"

DT: "Everybody wants something they haven't got. Suppose the white people wanted another million pizzas just as bad as the people who aren't white wanted the million that the white people have? You think that white people don't want things, too?"

UnNews: "How about we move on to the question of why you abruptly deleted the video under discussion? Did that signal a change of heart about the underlying meaning of the phrase 'White Power'?"

DT: "Not at all. I became aware of a White Power video on one of those disrespectful channels that are forever trying to undermine those who are out there improving the world, or at least those countries that aren't shitholes."

UnNews: "And this video changed your mind?"

DT: "As you know I'm a firm believer in respect for people and this video is not only very disrespectful, but has a very nasty word spoken in it. I can't have people seeing me associated with that sort of White Power."

UnNews: "And this was the reason that the video was removed so quickly?"

DT: "You can read about in my upcoming book "The Art of the Dodge". First lesson is don't ever give the buyer too much time to think about it."

UnNews: "Well, thanks for clearing all that up for us, Mr. President. We may have to call again if any misunderstandings like this arise in future."