UnNews:Scrabble's new rules on permissable swear words

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Straight talk, from straight faces UnNews Monday, May 17, 2021, 12:25:59 (UTC)

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14 April 2021

Some swear words are stil acceptable.

New Toadville, New Jersey, USA The diminishing supply of "permissible" words in the game Scrabble has led to even more squabbles (22 points) about whether a given word can actually be scored. This comes after the rules in Scrabble were recently changed in what critics see as another example of 'Cancel culture'.

In a journalistic (21) world-first (not allowed) scoop (9), UnNews has recorded a typical (14) Scrabble game between people who were friends. To protect their identities, they are referred to as P1, P2, P3 and P4.

P1: "Aw, P2, you can't use "asshole" (10)."

P2: "Why not, it's a word."

P1: "Well, it's offensive. Like if you called someone an asshole they'd be offended."

P3: "But it is inclusive (14). We're talking about being inclusive."

P4: "That's right. Everybody has an asshole. It's not sexist or racist or anything like that."

P1: "I still challenge. Look it up."

P3: "Yeah, it's official (15)."

P1: "Man, I can't believe it. I can't score with n****r (8), but you can with asshole."

P4: "Try darky (13). That's still okay and it's worth five more points."

P1: "Can't, you used the last Y in bitchy (16)."

P3: "Must be because no one has complained about it yet. I'm going for "queer" (14) on a double word score, so that's 28."

P1: "Somebody must have complained about that."

P3: "No, it's still official. Use 'em while you can."

UnNews: "It looks like playing Scrabble requires more than an extensive vocabulary these days. Next we're checking out whether Monopoly players will soon be required to all have the same amount of property and money."

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