UnNews:The cancellation of Scooter Libby's prison term is cancelled by Dick Cheney, Libby sent back to jail in hysterics.

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The cancellation of Scooter Libby's prison term is cancelled by Dick Cheney, Libby sent back to jail in hysterics. UnNews Logo Potato.png

6 July 2007

Look at him celebrating his freedom with a cigarette...hey Scooter, you're a free man...NOT!

WASHINGTON DC, Amerika -- In a move that has shocked America, the cancellation of "Scooter" Libby's 30-month jail sentence was cancelled by Vice President Dick Cheney. A hysterical Libby was driven back to jail in hysterics screaming "It's not right, it's not right!". "Mom!" yelled Libby to his mother, who was also in tears.

Even though the sudden cancellation of the cancellation of Libby's sentence has stunned America, his reaction brought shame and disgust. California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was reported as saying "I hate girlie men", shortly after seeing the Youtube video that was made available by some guy with a camera phone.

George W. Bush expressed extreme shock and disappointment at the cancellation of the cancellation of Libby's sentence saying that Libby had an unspecified mental problem that made the jail experience unsafe for him. He also expressed disdain for Dick Cheney, who somehow cancelled the cancellation of Libby's jail time.

When asked by reporters what gave him the authority to do what he did, the Vice President of the United States of America reiterated that he was his own branch of the Government, and was quoted as saying:

"George W. Bush can kiss my trigger-happy behind. There is nothing that the President can do against the power of the Dick Cheney Branch of the United States Government!"

When an Uncyclopedia reporter on the scene pointed out that this branch of the Government does not exist, a look of anger came over the Vice President's face, followed by eye ticks, and an angry response:

"I am gonna say this again, so that hopefully this time, it will get through all of your thick skulls. I am GOD!!! I am GOD!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's where I get my power! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA fear me!!! I am GOD!!! Where do I get my authority you ask? I've always had it!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am GOD!!!"

The angry response was followed by more eye ticks, a red face, and a deranged look on that red face.

It was later discovered that Libby's unspecified medical condition was a severe case of arachnaphobia, which apparently won't stop him from going to jail.

When asked about sending Libby to jail despite the fact that he had arachnophobia, Cheney replied:

"I am pretty sure that there aren't any spiders at Guantanamo Bay."

Sources[edit]

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