UnNews:Trump's "bad joke" annoys pro comedians

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9 December 2015

Donald Trump replied that he "sheds no tears for the left-wing networks." He added, "Patriotic comedy is the new politics."

NEW YORK -- Comedians and satirists want Donald Trump to "leave their patch" after his latest political outburst.

Trump's most recent demand — that the USA ban every Koran-carrying Muslim from entering the country and receiving his Electronic Benefit Card and Obama-phone — has outflanked a lot of stand-up and TV comedy shows, like the Daily Show. Former Daily Show front man Jon Stewart says Trump has "trumped us all" with his latest outburst.

"Do you know how long it takes to make fun out of politicians?" asked Stewart. "Hours spent rehearsing, last-minute script changes, and the hope we can make people laugh at the absurdity of it all. Now Trump comes along! It makes us wish we had Sarah Palin back again to laugh about."

Funnyman-turned-Senator Al Franken (D-WI) echoed the sentiment: "This is a serious development. I am lost for jokes with Trump!" However, losing the Senate majority last year may also have cramped Franken's style.

Contender Ted Cruz (R-TX) struck his signature pose of sympathy for the Trump campaign. "I said last year it was time to compete with Democrats on the field of ideas. It's now time to compete on the field of comically absurd stereotypes!"

U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, the last Presidential candidate to fall victim to a "botched joke" when he quipped that college wash-outs would be stuck in Bush's Army, said Trump's vain attempt at humor owed to global warming, which he called a threat not just to Homeland Security but to comedy itself.

Republican Party chairman Reince Priebus [sic], fresh from banning CNBC from running future debates, has asked openly if he can ban Trump from his usual position at center stage, on the ground that he "can't be a serious contender" no matter what the polls say. The GOP's lawyers are divided, as this would exclude everyone else too.

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